My daughter took these amazing pictures!
May 26, 2008
Why do people get depressed?
When you are depressed, oh my, it just clouds everything. The world looks baron and your thoughts turn into negative feelings of hopelessness. The negative and self-critical thoughts are haunting. The incidents that caused your depression are imbedded in your head and you repeat verbatim the words and anger over and over not allowing the mind to rest.
I'm constantly feeling tired all the time and difficulty falling asleep, gaining weight too. Depression affects people of every color, race, economic status, or age; however, it does seem to affect more people as they get older.
My doctor diagnosed my depression which doctor's refer to as an adjustment disorder with depressed mood. That was seven years ago when my husband passed away..............and all those same feelings are now returning to haunt me but triggered off over another issue and family related. The doctor explained that this particular diagnosis refers to depressive reactions to a specific life events (such as a death, divorce, or other loss or painful family issues), when adjusting to the loss takes longer than the normally expected timeframe or is more severe than expected and interferes with the person's daily activities.
When family members shows disrespect, it hurts and hurts bad and can cause major sadness leading to depression. A negative, stressful, or unhappy family atmosphere can affect your self-esteem and lead to depression. This, I consider a high-stress level.
Some people don't really understand about depression. For example, they may react to a depressed person's low energy with criticism, yelling and cursing at the person certainly does not help. Some people think that depression is just an attitude or a mood that a person can just make disappear. Not so.
It was explained to me by my doctor that depression is different than sadness. Everyone has some ups and downs, and sadness is a natural emotion. The normal stresses of life can lead anyone to feel sad every once in a while since life is not just a bowl of cherries!
Depression is more than feeling down in the dumps, it is a strong mood involving sadness and despair that lasts for weeks and weeks and sometimes even longer. It interferes with your ability to participate in normal activities.
I try to reap the benefits from mood-boosting activities like exercise, yoga, dance, and especially journaling. It helps to keep busy no matter how tired you feel. Exercising in my pool helps me a great deal. My mind does not wander and I'm concentrating on my aqua aerobics and for a short time during the day, it seems to help. I have not mastered the art of meditation because I can't sit still long enough and my mind cannot hold the concentration needed to meditate. My girlfriend gave me a CD to listen to help calm my nerves but that doesn't seem to help either.
My panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you feel like you are having a having a heart attack or even dying. Oh my......why is all this happening? I thought I had a loving family! Yes, I'm sad and needed to write in my journal to help release the pain. I love my children more than I love taking my next breathe. Mother's Day was always so special and even more exciting than Christmas for me. Can children just stop loving their mother? To think, I used to boast that I had the best children in the world because I taught them "Respect". So....what happened??????????????? They are grown adults and know better.
I'm grateful for my caring friends, you all know who you are .......you care that my well being is important to you ......that makes me feel special. Thank you!
May 16, 2008
Aren't Old Friends Just The BEST!
We have all made new friends since graduating high school, but we have stood the test of time after seeing each other 46 years later for a wonderful luncheon. It first started to be a lunch for three with me flying up from Florida and Sal and Carolyn driving up from CT.....and turned into so much more to my shocking surprise!
Oh the stories.......we were all renewing our youth. One would remember something that another forgot, our new friends are great but aren't our old friends just the best! I find that true friendships never ever decay.....we just may turn a little gray! LOL I'm starting to rhyme here! ha ha ha
Yeah, Boston still rocks for me!
We were all connected by emotions from childhood onto High School and then onto adulthood. We have all gone our separate ways and started our own families and for many, moved out of state and the years just past so quickly.
I think we will always continue our forever friendship. The world does not seem so lonely and empty when you get older and widowed like me, just knowing you have so many special friends in your life who genuinely care about you is Priceless!
I missed our past 45th Class Reunion because I live out of state and still working at the time and my grumpy boss would not allow me the time off to attend. Now, I truly understand everyone's comments on how they didn't want the day to end. That is how I felt with this wonderful luncheon.......simply just didn't want the day to end. And, lovely Meri invited us all to her house after lunch at the Continental and the reminiscing went on and on. Jeanine was wonderful to bring her scrapbook of memories from grammar school. Sal and his lovely wife, Carolyn also brought their wedding album and his yearbook for us to sign again! Well, I missed signing it in 1962 but had the privilege to sign it 46 years later!
Scotty traveling all the way from Maine to attend the event. What a surprise to see Peter........never knew you were a ballroom dancer! Can't wait to glide across the dance floor with you during my next trip to Boston!
You know what I think is so special?..............I don't hear too many other people raving about their classmate friends like we do...........we really love our friends. What a great feeling that is.
I'm closing this entry with the ABC Friendship Poem:
(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plain things you don'tunderstand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality
Since I'm still in Boston and not on my personal home computer, I can't add my graphics and animations but I had to jot down my thoughts and feelings as three weeks later, my memory may fade....not of the special day but of certain words I wanted to convey to all that were there for our special lunch!
So, I will remind you to take another peak at my Journal when I return to Florida. I will then create a nice photo album as well.
Thanks to all of you for the memories!
With Affection, Rose
May 7, 2008
May 3, 2008
What is a lifestyle anyway?
I'm still trying to adjust to the "retired" lifestyle.
My favorite part is that I don't have to set that #$%^&* alarm clock anymore! Some days are boring, I will not deny that but then again, I was bored when I was working too! My evenings and weekends are still the same. I guess living alone alters your way of life.
I keep telling myself that I need to get out more but I really got so tired of the nightclub scenes, it just lost all of its glitter from years ago!
Well, what is a lifestyle anyway? A lifestyle is the way a person lives. This includes patterns of social relations, consumption, entertainment, and how you dress. A lifestyle typically also reflects an individual's attitude and values.
We all have a bundle of behaviors that makes sense to both others and to ourself in different times and places. My lifestyle has changed from let's say 20 years ago....what was important to me then is not so important to me now. I used to be a "Material" girl..............don't get me wrong, I still like nice things but it's not top priority now for some reason.
Wish the schools had classes in investment when we were younger. Yeah, they taught us how to open up a bank account and a checking account but it stopped there. Remember the booklet of "green" stamps?
You need money for retirement and people take the subject lightly. Save as much as you can and pass up that "Material" thing that you were thinking about purchasing and a week from now no longer interests you.
We all buy things we don't need. All I have to do is look in my closet and see price tags dangling down from a blouse or some article of clothing hanging there for many, many months after the date of purchase...........dah! I obviously didn't need it just because it was on sale doesn't warrant the reason to purchase and that money could have gone into my piggy bank or put towards a Certificate of Deposit. I envy the people in my age group that realized this long before I did.
We all need to enjoy our life with some guilty pleasures and purchases but now I think twice before taking the plastic out of my wallet because of my new limited budget.............retirement does come with some adjustments.....that Social Security check does not go very far!
I suppose I could look into a part time job for extra spending money but right now, like I previously said........I love not having to set that alarm clock! With my severe insomnia, I'm not panicking anymore when I only got about one hour of sleep because I don't have to hear the alarm go off and rush to work.
I think if you live a decent lifestyle and you are a good person, your life will be richer beyond your bank account.
April 30, 2008
WWW = 15
The World Wide Web as we know it celebrates its 15th birthday today. It has changed our way of life beyond recognition. What changed when the Internet came into your life? I received this assignment from Magic Smoke this morning and thought the topic is certainly one I would want to participate in.
The WWW allows me to reach all the destinations of life with a click of the mouse whether for work or play. Oh my, let me count the ways of how the Internet personally changed my life:
1. Research is an information highway!
2. Sending a greeting card to a friend no longer requires running to the local card shop.
3. Paying bills online and saving on stamps!
4. I'm learning more about graphics and animations to entertain my family and friends and myself as well. My WWW faceless friends taught me how to do this. Thank you to all of them.
5. Creating photo albums online and sharing with people that mean a lot to me.
6. You can even get a education and a degree online and job search! Now, that's amazing!
7. Cyberspace is also a hot and happening place for online dating.
8. I cherish my good morning emails from my daughter every morning.
9. I cherish my weekly emails from my son.
10. I even found a long lost childhood friend after 45 years online. That was a very special moment for me after years of searching for her. I found my dear friend on the WWW. We now chat online everyday! We were totally shocked that we both have been living in the State of Florida for the past 20 years but on different Coasts! We are both originally from New England. We also had the opportunity to visit with one another and will be seeing each other again soon. It doesn't get much better than that!
11. I even renew my prescriptions online as I hate any telephone automated system.
12. Online shopping is always a convenience and a savings on the high price of gas these days!
I can go on and on how the Internet changed my life but I would be here all day long because my list would be never ending!
I was reluctant to create a Journal online but now I find it entertaining and informational and also enlightening. But the best part of an online Journal is that you have a bunch of all new faceless online friends and would not be able to do this if we didn't have the WWW. It allows others to look at your thoughts and follow your topics and then add comments and perspectives on what you've written about.
I did get one negative response from an acquaintance as recently as last night. I received an IM and the individual asked me "why are you doing this blogging thing...what is wrong with a simple email?" She also said it was too much reading for her. Well, my response to that is "You don't have to read my blogs" simple as that! It's not mandatory for anyone to read it if they choose not to.
Sometimes, I send reminders to my family and friends if I made a new entry and I must have clicked on this person's email address who is normally not on my regular list but I will keep a mental note not to include her email address for "Reminders". Everyone is entitled to their opinions and there is always the "Delete" button!
The Internet is fascinating to say the least! I find many ways and reasons to contact someone across the miles in a special way:
April 29, 2008
Beauty Salon Gossip
Beauty Salon gossip is one of the oldest and still the most common means of spreading and sharing various information and views. Oh my, the topics of conversation are not only just on beauty topics either! Some gals can get right down and raunchy with their personal stories! Certainly, a day at the beauty shop is very entertaining to say the least, many, many chuckles as well. I also love the shops that serve wine! Whoo-hoo! When the ladies are a bit tanked……..you would not believe what comes out of their mouths! LOL
We women have performed many strange rituals and experienced much pain and spent mucho dollars to look young. It’s a paycheck alone at the beauty shop just for your color, cut and blow dry. Then the manicures and pedicures is another added expense.
Hey, guys…………you just have to get a good haircut and shave! Wow, think of all the money you guys are saving and you men look gorgeous when your hair turns gray! Unfortunately, it doesn’t work the same for women!
I remember years ago, I used cucumbers on my eyes to relieve the puffiness and Preparation H cream that is marketed to treat hemorrhoids used under the eye to reduce the bags and dark circles after a late night out. But the beauty babes of today are going to extremes to look younger than their years.
Gosh, now the women are actually using food poisoning injections to freeze their face and wrinkles…that’s a bit scary for me and trust me, I would love to look younger just like the next gal but I do know some ladies that have used Botox and get these injections over and over.......After so many treatments, it looks so awful and unnatural. Their lips move when they talk and their whole face looks frozen! That does not make them look younger; it makes them look like freaks in my opinion. They lost their personal facial expressions which is what makes a person look unique!
Caution ladies, I recently read an article about Botox and it claimed new research points to evidence that Botox may make a beeline from the injection site to the brain. Yikes! That means Botox may affect what's going on up in your head.........wow...that is nothing to smile about and certainly not making you look younger now is it?????
One woman in the Beauty Salon said she has been drinking Donkey Milk! I never even knew donkey’s produced milk????? Yikes! Where would you buy Donkey Milk? Wow! I think I was on the floor rolling over laughing my head off after that statement! She said she also uses Pepto-Bismol as a facial mask. Now, I would give that a try but I have super sensitive skin and would be afraid I would break out in a heart beat!
I guess women that can’t afford the Hollywood lifestyle search for thrifty treatments that you can find in your medicine cabinet or kitchen cupboards to work miracles on their face!
Well, I have a sister-in-law that used to use the cake form of yeast and whisk it with Ponds facial cream and she has beautiful skin………..go figure…..we all know what yeast does to bread dough! I guess it must plump up the skin and wrinkles be gone! LOL I haven’t tried that either due to my very sensitive skin. But, I would try that well before Botox any day.
I put my two cents in and expressed that I prefer to age gracefully by eating healthy, exercising and wearing SPANX! There I go again…advertising for another product! However, I do believe in moisturizers….moisturize, moisturize, moisturize!
I know some of my girlfriends have their hair colorist on their speed dial and one who has her plastic surgeon on hers……………So, who is on your speed dial?
April 26, 2008
I Believe
I thought it would be interesting to email all my friends and ask them to send me what they believe and incorporate both; a few from the email and all of my friends beliefs. I told them I would keep their thoughts anonymous........so here goes:
I believe - A birth certificate shows that we were born; a death certificate shows that we died; pictures show that we lived!
I believe - That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I believe - That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I believe - That true friendship continues to grow.
I believe - That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I believe - That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I believe - You should work hard but play harder.
I believe - You get what you give.
I believe - What goes around comes around.
I believe - that everyone that can should own a dog - they truly are a person's best friend.
I believe - If a person is cruel and mistreats animals, they will also mistreat humans.
I believe - The state of joy enables you to stop worrying.
I believe - You should set goals and commit yourself to them.
I believe - People interpret words and actions differently. We may look at the same picture and see different things.
I believe - If your attitude is in the toilet, you have no chance for success and happiness.
I believe - That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I believe - That we should all be responsible for our actions.
I believe - That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe - That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will surprise you because they will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe - I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe - That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world
doesn't stop for your grief.
I believe - That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe - Two people can look at the exact same thing and see
something totally different.
I believe - That your life can be changed in a matter of hours.
I believe - That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I believe - That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I believe - The happiest people don't necessarily have the
best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.
I believe - You should be a good provider for your family.
I believe - We should do something nice for a total stranger every day.
I believe - One of the most powerful personal development tool is simply to keep a personal journal.
What do you believe?
April 22, 2008
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
Oh my, that is all I remember!!!!.......It's been 38 years or so since I have recited that nursery rhyme to my children. LOL
We all know it as a popular English nursery rhyme that we taught to our children when they were young. Along with “Star Light, Star Bright, Wish I May, Wish I might. Wow, I actually found myself star gazing tonight. Something I have not done in many, many years.
I remember when I was young growing up in the city of Boston, we only had the roof tops to either sunbath or star gaze. Being on the roof top of those beautiful old buildings is an experience I will always remember. (my niece emailed me after reading my Journal to remind me we used to call it "Roof Top Pebble Beach") LOL I lived with my large family on the 5th floor of a very old brownstone building. Til this day, I can’t comprehend how my mother took care of all of us. Of course, this never entered my mind until after I became a parent of two. How did she do it with so many children to feed and cloth and take care of?????? God rest her soul. She didn't grow up with the luxuries the young mothers have today, washers, dryers, refrigerators, (we had an ice box) playpens, toys for the children, etc. Gosh, today the young mothers have an Au Pair (live in babysitters) and cleaning ladies!
Tonight, I felt a bit antsy and lonely or whatever it was that I was feeling after I had dinner by myself, I decided to go for a walk…..I live in a condo in sunny South Florida….upon my return home from my walk, I stepped inside the locked gate of the community pool area…(Condo Rules…no one is allowed in the pool area after dusk) So, I was a bad girl and disobeyed the rules tonight. There I sat on a comfortable beach lounge chair and looked up at the beautiful sunset.
Prior to retirement, I didn’t have time to do this cost free pleasure. Who had the time, I had to cook, eat dinner, prepare my clothes for work the next day, iron, do laundry, go to bed………..Ugh! Weekends were filled with errands, grocery shopping, cleaning the house and cooking some meals ahead for the following week. And, all this is after I raised my children.....wow...when they were young and still in school.........triple all that work stated above. When you are younger, you have more energy. I know I couldn't do it again today at my age.
I usually walk during the daylight hours but tonight was different for some reason. I got back in the house in time to see “Dancing with the Stars” and “Boston Legal”. Two of my favorite programs…….
I was a "ballroom dancer" and I love "law" and lived in that legal world for many, many years.
It started to get dark but I was in no hurry to go back in my house. It brought back memories of me and my children in their special weekend retreats to Vermont and Maine gazing at the beautiful stars up above. Did you ever experience a solar eclipse? Did you ever kick back around a bon fire and identify the constellations? Did you ever see a Meteor shower? Oh and making Smores on a stick! Fascinating!
Tonight was an impressive show for Dancing with the Stars. Boston Legal........amongst their normal humor……..they challenged the Supreme Court! Yeah, the writers manage to get their point across one way or another! Kudos!
I didn't need my watch to tell me the time....I knew my programs were due to come on TV so I got back in the house in time to watch them both.
Whatever you do, take the time to appreciate the natural wonders above. That special twinkling light that traveled millions of miles to your very own eyes to view!
Amazing! Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star!
P.S. Yes, I made a wish on a star tonight!
April 20, 2008
100 Things about me
(Since Val (Valpish) made this a challenging topic on her AOL Journal, I’m giving it a try using hers as a guideline, as I don’t know if there were direct questions to be answered regarding this blog. Here goes……….
- I am 63 years old, oh my…where did all the years go?
- I am a mom to two
- I miss New England
- I do not have grandchildren
- I was born in Massachusetts
- I currently live in South Florida
- I absolutely love New England
- I love wine with my dinner
- I quit smoking on January 17, 2007 Yippee!
- I have gained weight after I stopped smoking…..Ugh!
- I also gained weight before I stopped smoking! Oh my
- I miss my single digit size clothes
- I can sew, knit and do needlepoint and crewel
- I have high cholesterol and high blood pressure….Ugh!
- I am now a redhead!
- I like dogs, I do not like cats. A cat scratched the top of my first brand new car when I was 18 years old and years later a freaking cat jumped on the top of my baby’s head when I was visiting a friend that owned this cat, I feared it would scratch my baby’s face….so frightening….I dislike cats…then I became allergic to them as well
- I love the color blue
- I collect dolls, miniature shoes, perfume bottles and Dept. 56/Christmas in the City houses
- I have a robot vacuum cleaner (Roomba) I call her “Little Rosie”
- I love exercising in the pool.
- I love diamonds and gold, hey they are a girl’s best friend. LOL
- I seldom get bored
- I started to wear glasses for reading only at age 50
- I’m Catholic
- I was married and divorced a couple of times and still believed in love and marriage to do it again and again, (no one gets married with the intentions of later being divorced but things happen) then I met a wonderful man and I became a widow in the year of 2001
- I’m currently not dating by choice.
- I did try that online dating thing
- I prefer the old fashioned way of meeting people
- I do not play any musical instrument
- I like Yoga and Thai Chi
- I have a broken ugly baby toe
- I hate Halloween
- I found very few 4-leaf clovers in my life…hard to find growing up in the city.
- I had a Granddog. She was a beautiful Sheltie
- I graduated from High School and later went on to college after I was divorced
- I am blessed with many wonderful friends
- I love ballroom dancing
- I won a scratch lottery ticket once for $100.
- I was in the Legal Field for over 30 years then on to theMedical Field
- My favorite job ever was working with a special attorney
- I have kept a diary all my life
- I am my own best friend
- I love listening to the world waking up in the morning with all its sounds and distinct noises
- I love catalog shopping better than walking in the Malls
- I do not like to drive long distances
- I love mostly all foods
- I can not use chopsticks too well, I try then I get fed up and pick up the fork
- I am learning to incorporate more fish in my diet
- I prefer cooked foods over raw
- I love Veal Franchese
To be cont.
100 Things About Me (Continued)
51. I'm hooked on animations and graphics as you can see.
52. I would be 20 pounds lighter if I didn’t sleepwalk including nocturnal eating.
53. I still like to color with crayons and I can color within the lines! LOL
54. I am a night person. Definitely not a morning person due to my insomnia.
55. I don’t mind being alone, my computer keeps me company.
56. I have my TV on all day long for noise.
57. I started going gray before age 20….thank goodness for hair color.
58. I retired in 2007.
59. I read to a blind lady once a week in my complex. I think everyone should do something nice for someone every day.
60. I occasionally do Volunteer Work for the local Police Dept. typing their Crime Watch logs.
61. I feel comfortable swimming in a pool opposed to the ocean.
62. I can’t sing for beans! I sing all my favorite Italian songs especially when I’m making my sauce (we Italians call it gravy) and meatballs on Sunday! I love Jimmy Rosselli, the famous Italian Singer.
63. I love music with the exception of Heavy Metal and Rap. I love Sinatra and Etta James and Nancy Wilson is my all time favorite Jazz Lady!
64. I believe in the power of prayer.
65. I used to be an avid reader before the computer age and the Internet!
66. I hate to make business telephone calls and dealing with that exhausting automated system that completely wears me out!
67. Retirement taught me to take the time to stop and smell the roses.
68. I love, love, love shoes!
69. Bella is my favorite word…it means beautiful in Italian.
70. “All My Tomorrows” is my favorite song by Frank Sinatra.
71. I used to do crossword puzzles but now do word games on my computer.
72. I am Italian….I’m sure you figured that out by now.
73. My parents and two siblings are deceased.
74. I never knew my grandparents.
75. I love to be pampered with a manicure and pedicure.
76. I keep my a/c house temperature on “meat locker” cold. Living in South Florida gets me overheated! As I said, I miss New England.
77. I prefer to eat my dinner off of a TV tray in the den while watching TV.
78. I love Orchard plants.
79. I love garden fresh tomatoes, basil and parsley.
80. I’m not an athletic person.
81. I’m not into sports but I’m certainly a Red Sox’s fan!
82. I love beautiful Newscaster white teeth.
83. I love to cook most days. It’s boring cooking for one.
84. I sleep with at least three pillows, one being a “Chillow Pillow” to keep me cool.
85. I’m on the computer for at least 6 hours per day.
86. I try not to go on the computer late at night as I find it stimulates me more and creates havoc with my already serious insomnia issues.
87. I don’t play golf.
88. I don’t play tennis either.
89. I do like the Clubhouse to the Country Club for lunch.
90. My favorite smell is gravy and meatballs simmering on the stove.
91. My other favorite smell is the crisp cool winter air in New England.
92. I like to do art and craft projects and creating scrapbooks.
93. I love creating photo albums online and now I’m totally hooked on graphics and animations…..soooooooo time consuming but I love it and I have the time.
94. I love Shalimar Cologne by Guerlain. I’ve been wearing this fragrance since I was sixteen.
95. I love Happy Hour with the girls.
96. Getting older frightens me.
97. I do believe in God.
98. I love a clean, tidy house.
99. My favorite TV programs are "Dancing with the Stars", "Brothers & Sisters", I miss "Sex and the City". And, Who does not miss “I Love Lucy”?
100. My online Journal is my way of leaving my footprints in the sand!
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