May 23, 2009

Involuntary Choices!

Library/booksThis Memorial Day weekend left me with nothing to do. I have some friends that are away on vacation and others busy doing the “Couple” thing, so I decided to head out to our new amazing library in Boca. The place is so beautiful and enjoyable to read a good book.

Such a rainy, nasty day out. Normally, I prefer to sit outside in the beautiful patio area of the library but the weather forced me inside. I noticed, many others had the same idea to spend the day at the library and most tables were full in the cafeteria section.

Two nice ladies looked at me with my book in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other and said “Please join us, we have two other chairs here at our table”. I felt a bit uncomfortable but thanked them and sat down. We exchanged our names and where we lived, yatta, yatta.

Since they looked like they were in my age group, it didn’t surprise me that one stated she was also a Widow and the other was Divorced. Sad.

Well, they didn’t seem to feel uncomfortable spilling their personal life and chatting in front of me while I was reading my book which is why I went there in the first place. They kept asking each other “How are you doing”. I used to hate that question because it is a foolish and stupid question to ask a Widow or Divorcee, as the answer to that is already obvious. Plain awful! A squeeze of the hand or a hug from a friend goes far more than stupid questions like “How are you doing”!

The Widow was expressing how lonely she is and her discontent with her four children who all live in other states and lucky if she receives a couple of phone calls a week from any of them. Hmmmmmmmmm I was thinking to myself……having children is no insurance policy and guarantee that you will not be left alone as you get older.

The other lady was terrified of living alone after her divorce. She was so dependent on her spouse for everything. The divorce was not a mutual consent. He left her for a younger woman. Hmmmmmmm Some women prefer to stay in a marriage even though it is emotionally draining them but they are more afraid of what’s on the other side and the financial situation, yatta, yatta. She too, also expressed that she thought her children and grandchildren should spend more time with her but they have their own lives.

Sigh! Thinking to myself, I’ve been on both sides of the track and I could relate to both their fears and concerns but ladies.......get a life!

Then they turned to the topic of aging and losing that youthful look. One was trying to convince the other to do the Botox thing. They then included me in the conversation and asked if I were interested in joining them for a Botox party. I declined not because I don’t want to get rid of some wrinkles and would love to look a bit younger but I refuse to put toxins such a poison in my body through a needle! Plus, it is so costly and you have to keep it up every three months to maintain that look even if you keep it light without heavy doses of that toxic liquid….I don’t like that “Plastic” look. Just stroll down any avenue in Boca and you will see that look! Not pretty! Men don’t like it either so listen up ladies!

I have, however, seen some good facelifts on some friends that weren’t pulled too tight and they did not go overboard trying to look like “Barbie”.

If it is your choice to go under the knife and try to regain your youth……go right ahead and if you choose to let your wrinkles show the character in your face…….by all means leave them there.

Bottom line, we all have choices……. some choices are not voluntary ones…….. some are! Becoming a Widow is not by choice……….being left for another woman is also not by your choice……….Choosing to do something with your life to make yourself happy is your “Choice”.

May 14, 2009

A Delightful Mother's Day in Boston!

Mother's DayIt seems like all of us Widows make our solo trip straight to the comfort of our children and friends. Back home visiting with children is a safe haven with fewer unknowns. The visit is always consoling along with the security of being enclosed in caring arms.

PlaneMy flight up to Boston was a flight from hell with a three hour delay and a very turbulent flight. Yes, I had my rosary beads in my hands!

There is something about that New England air that makes me sleep like a baby!

I had a wonderful Mother’s Day! I was showered with beautiful gifts. Rhonda prepared a fabulous dinner for all of us. She is the Hostess with the Mostess!

My son and daughter have so much energy and I think they forget I’m getting older and can’t keep up with the pace! LOL My son, daughter and I spent a great day that included a picnic on the beach in Salem. We discovered Winter Island located in Salem which we had never been before and there were very narrow trails….up hills and down steep hills…scary for me….these old bones can’t chance a fall plus my lower back was hurting.

However, it was very enjoyable even for the fainthearted like me that thinking of doing something a little more courageous is usually not in my daily schedule. Most times, I sit on my duff and feel safe or get off my duff and feel scared! I guess we all have our own level of courage when we get older. My son claims that since I live in Florida, I’m used to walking on flat ground all the time! No inclines whatsoever. LOL This is true if you think about it.

Winter Island is the type of place to spend a sunny afternoon exploring. It's got enough nooks and crannies and so many was too steep for me to travel so I begged to take another route back........I'm a wimp!

We also took in a short movie featuring the historical Salem! Walking in and out of quaint little shops with Saks Fifth Avenue prices! Gosh, I lived in Massachusetts for 44 years and I have never had the time to visit these places when I lived there! It is a warm feeling instead of the huge Malls we are accustomed to today. But, they all have those strong scented potpourri in each store…….wasn’t great for my allergies.

We enjoyed many restaurants, so many laughs creating a recipe for a wonderful trip.

I also had the pleasure of having lunch with my former classmates that I have not seen many of them since 1962. They wanted to thank me for creating and maintaining a separate Blog for our class! I was flattered with the wonderful speech a dear friend recited with such kind and complimentary words. Of course, I was fighting back the tears!

My flight home was so pleasant…small world…I was sitting aside of my girlfriend’s sister. The company and conversation made the flight pass by quickly. But, my luggage was damaged and a note inside stating they checked the contents of my baggage! Oh, the thoughts of someone rummaging through my personal belongings makes my skin crawl. So, the germ-a-phobic me washed everything……even articles of clothing that I didn’t even wear during my stay.

I did report my damaged luggage to the Airlines. I’m sure that will be a long drawn out claim form, etc.

My children keep me on the go everyday in that I'm back home.........sigh! The slow pace of life is back and makes me lazy again. I enjoy being on the go even with my bad back.

I hope all Mothers enjoyed their special day like I did.

P.S. I feel younger with my new hair color and cut............Jimmy, you are the best! I received compliments from total strangers in the Wharf Restaurant where the luncheon was held with my classmates. The Hostess at the restaurant asked me if I was a hairdresser because my hair looked so fabulous.....she also asked if I had a business card to hand out...which of course I did have and proudly handed my son's card to her.

PSSSSS. I just got an email from Thommy:
"Rose, I think you missed someone out of your nice to sees!!!!!!" Forgive me Darling! I guess the caffeine didn't kick in when I was composing this entry. Of course, I always adore seeing know that don't you???? Yes, you do!