December 30, 2011

"Looking for Answers"

We don’t always know why things happen. We all experience frustrating situations that may never ever be explained.

Losing sleep worrying about why someone may have hurt you or why you may have been passed over for a big promotion or how did your life end up the way it did?? No doubt there will be times in your life when you are left baffled and scratching your head trying to figure out, “Why?”

Letting go when there is no understanding that “Why?” is very hard. Our society places strong emphasis on finding answers. Life does not stop when you don’t understand “what the heck just happened here.” Instead, you must learn to let go.

So, it’s best to let go of the frustration of asking “Why” and stop letting the frustration rent space in your head and strive for a brighter and better days ahead! Sometimes, it is easier said than accomplished!

They say everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, Injury, Love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.

I guess it is all about the “Law of Attraction”. It makes you wonder????

I suppose life would be boring if everything were perfect and comfy but I guess would also be dull and senseless. The accomplishments and pitfalls that we all experience, I think creates and molds who you are……..the bad experiences should teach you something and learn from the mistakes in life. Not all things are mistakes and we are undeserving of misgivings and mistreatment from others. But life goes on and you just have to remain strong and forgive.

I’m so grateful that I’m blessed with wonderful friends whenever I’m having a meltdown. They are always there to catch me when I fall.

December 14, 2011

Do you feel uncared for and unloved?

We all experience days when we feel down and out and totally depleted, uncared for, unloved. The world was certainly not my oyster yesterday. Yet, we are the same person we were yesterday, today, and will be tomorrow, even though our circumstances may try to convince us otherwise. I was feeling perfectly fine this yesterday morning but who knows how the remainder of one day can change your life.

I created “Time Capsule” many years ago and filled it with items that I collected over time: a special card from a favorite relative, my children’s first handmade cards from kindergarten with the words “MOM, I love you,” a photo of me and my best friend. The pretty sea shell I found on the beach, the wine label from my first date with my husband; all this helps me to re-align my spirit and see the world as the wonder that it is.

My “Time Capsule” represents tangible items of the love and joy that were present in my world each and every day that has passed. My Time Capsule is quite full and I may start another one. I guess the idea is to look in it years later and reap the joy of past memories! I don’t know if I will have pleasant memories to put in the second Time Capsule.

It is hard to make happiness the number one thing in your life when you are a Widow. I’m the only one responsible for my happiness now. When you have a special someone is in your life, that person contributes to your happiness……that helps a bit more. I never thought I’d feel so much alone. So distant from everyone I love even my children since we live in different states.

I made a list once of one hundred things about me and posted it on my Blog. I try not to expect others to behave in a way I want, so I will be happy. Be as it may, we are the only ones in control of our happiness and it is a choice, no matter what anyone else thinks.  I did instill in my children to respect themselves and others.

The items I collected throughout the years in my happy box is wonderful. I need to make new memories and start a new Time Capsule.

The combination of widowhood and aging creates a constant challenge for someone to try and be more positive all of the time. I hope your children and family remain close to you and care about your happiness.

Love and respect yourself completely!

December 6, 2011

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

I don't want much for Christmas, I just want the person reading this to be happy and well.

Friends are the fruit cake of life --- some nutty, some soaked in alcohol, some sweet ... but mix them together & they're my friends!!

At Christmas you always hear people talking about what they want & bought.

This is what I want:

I want people who are sick with no cure, to be cured.

I want children with no families to be adopted.

I want people not to have to worry about food, shelter and heat.

I want my children and family to be safe, happy and healthy.

I want peace on earth, goodwill and love to everyone!

Hugs, Rose

December 4, 2011

Do you still color within the lines?

I was blessed to be surrounded with great people in the neighborhood I grew up in. Across the street, was a lovely family and the father was a great artist. I played with his children and he provided me with my very first coloring book and crayons, as I didn’t have many toys coming from a large family of 12. Let's say, I didn't have any toys at all is more like it!

This wonderful artist taught me how to color within the lines and my family taught me how to live my life within their lines! My parents were old enough to be my grandparents and most of my brothers and sisters are old enough to be my parents. So, my upbringing was totally different than my friends that I grew up with.

My friends are very dear and special to me and their parents are special to me as well. They helped me grow into the woman I am today outside the boundaries of growing up in a very large, strict, Italian family household.

The parents of my freinds were much younger than mine and they encouraged me to give myself permission to break the rules, to move outside the boundaries of my family's way of looking at things. 

Dare to go beyond the self-censorship that comes from worrying about what other people think!  I bought a brand new car the minute I acquired my first job out of highschool at the age of 18.  All of my sisters got married and had large families.  They didn't have their own car or wore lipstick, nailpolish and had a stand-in appointment at the beauty shop like me and hungered for higher education.  But I did.

I enjoy following my heart and dismiss unimportant “shoulds”. I want to open the door and turn my blogs into the possibility of EBooks or any form of books to be downloaded onto a Kindle would be interesting. I owe this current idea to my dear nephew along with many others that suggested similar ideas in the past. I truly don’t know what avenue to follow, and I don’t know where to begin. I would like to make a personal breakthrough but much research is necessary.

About five years ago, I researched in the library on how to go about publishing a book and I followed the instructions and contacted a huge list of Agents and received many rejection letters and a few that offered hope. Then I just gave up on the idea as other obstacles fell on my lap at the time.

I have moved beyond more obstacles than I can remember and it isn’t enough for me to sit and just hope.

I could use some help and normally I would be bashful and hate to impose on others for help but I need opinions from my family and friends that are following my blogs and perhaps tell me which Post they enjoyed the most, I could actually compile a few together to make a cutesy little Ebook or some sort of book!

I also would love some input from my classmates for which I also write a blog just for them. So, I write two blogs……….one for my personal thoughts and the other to keep my classmates woven together and remain “forever friends”.

I need to form a plan and make a path to be my guide. No one with a map has ever gotten lost on the road! So, even if I don’t have a preplanned path……….I just might be able to leave a trail!

November 27, 2011

Are you Trustworthy?

Humility is the quality of being respectful to yourself and others but you only can attain it when you can get free from the demands of your ego. I learned that when you practice genuine humility, you will find enormous power.

It’s a must to get beyond the desire to control others, and only then can you improve your ability to control your own actions. Let go of the need to be right, and you open yourself to experience new truth.

Don’t you just hate listening to people who are constantly boasting, bragging and valuing their opinion above others? Ugh! So, why don’t others give up the thought that they are better than everyone else?

Don't you think if everyone lived each moment with humility, love, respect and gratitude, everyone will find a treasure that has no end? 

Do you ever watch and notice how others treat other people? I always appreciated seeing someone treat the elderly or children no different than other people. Treating each person as someone of value despite their position in society, profession, age or economic status certainly demonstrates great humility.

Before retirement, I used to love to spend my lunch hour out on a park bench near work eating my sandwich and “people watch”. I still “people watch” whenever out in a restaurant or at a gathering. Amazing how many people make an *ss out of themselves.

How do you treat yourself? Everyone should value themselves but not spoil yourself. Everyone knows there’s nothing worse than a spoiled child, a person who gives into their own desires continually develops self-centered behavior patterns.  It's just insane!

Humility allows people to see you as “Trustworthy”. 

November 13, 2011

Thanksgiving is Approaching!

“Thanksgiving”…………the word alone creates images of family reunions, roasted turkey with stuffing and of course the pumpkin pie………and, if you are Italian like me, all this turkey stuff comes after you have had your lasagna, meatballs and gravy, antipasto, etc. LOL

Let's not forget the football games!

Italians living in Italy do not celebrate Thanksgiving as we do here in North America although they do have many holidays called La Festa del Ringraziamento (Festival of Thanks). These holidays, or "feast days' refer to a variety of religious holidays held throughout the year to honor patron saints.

Giving thanks was, and still is, the primary reason for ceremonies or celebrations.

Here is what I think everyone perceives of Thanksgiving: It's less about focusing on giving thanks than it is about gorging on turkey and stuffing. Ironically, perhaps, during the same week as our Thanksgiving, my girlfriend who lives in London said that they celebrate National Thank You Week. It's not just about this vague notion of thanks -- it's aimed at helping us thank the people we encounter every day.

Thanking people isn't simply a matter of common courtesy. Yes, there was a study on this topic; does that surprise you? There is a study on just about everything these days. A 10-year study of 200,000 managers and employees showed that saying "thank you" correlates with bigger profits. This isn't surprising, because giving thanks is a great motivational tool; who doesn't like to be thanked? What is surprising is how hard it is to do the thanking.

For example: Lawyers should be thanked. I’m not joking! The American Bar Association estimates that nearly three-quarters of all lawyers provide free services to disadvantaged people or the organizations that serve them -- about 20 million hours a year. Let's say these lawyers usually bill about $250 an hour. That's about $5 billion a year in donated value to the not-for-profit sector -- an enormous gift, and especially for small shops without huge corporate accounts to rely on, a big strain.

So think twice before telling a lawyer joke. And if your group gets pro bono help, try to steer your lawyer some business that pays.

October 22, 2011

Are you taking generic drugs? If so, listen up!

I’m sure many of you out there are on some prescription drugs to lower your cholesterol or your blood pressure, etc. I’m very upset and annoyed with the pharmacists and doctors who believe that a generic drug is identical to the brand name!

Many, including myself have experienced adverse reactions and nothing is being done about it. It just becomes a trial and error situation whereas; the doctors just prescribe another generic and see how your body deals with it. Duh!

I have had severe leg pain, tingling feelings on the bottom of my feet and my left hand, twitching of my left eye and discomfort in my left ear!  I stopped taking the generic cholesterol medication and the symptoms are now starting to subside after a little more than a week.  The doctor's answer to this is just put me yet on another generic statin drug!  It is dangerous to be on it and dangerous to be off of it!

I requested blood work to detect if any muscle damage has occured.

If a patient is offered a brand name drug for $200. And, then what they claim to be an identical drug but is a generic for $10.00! Shouldn’t that alone raise an eyebrow!

Most pharmacists routinely tell patients that generic drugs are identical to brand name medications. That is bull. This is what pharmacy students are told during their education process. It is also what the FDA states on its website:

"A generic drug is identical--or bioequivalent--to a brand name drug in dosage form, safety, strength, route of administration, quality, performance characteristics and intended use. Although generic drugs are chemically identical to their branded counterparts, they are typically sold at substantial discounts from the branded price."

Now, I don't know about you, but when I see the word identical, I assume that means exactly the same as.

Here is how defines the word identical:

1. Similar or alike in every way
2. Being the very same
3. Agreeing exactly

Related Words for: identical
Indistinguishable, one and the same, selfsame

Medical Dictionary
1. Exactly equal and alike
2. Of or relating to a twin or twins developed from the same fertilized ovum and having the same genetic makeup and closely similar appearance; monozygotic."

The use of the word identical, when describing generic drugs, is misleading. First, the inactive ingredients (colors, binders, fillers, etc.) do not have to be "alike in every way" to the brand name product. In fact, they are often quite different. These so-called inactive ingredients or "excipients" may influence how the product affects patients. For example, a patient who is allergic to a particular color may develop a rash when switched to a generic product. The formulation may also differ dramatically from the brand name.

Plus, according to the FDA, 80 percent of the active and inactive ingredients in our pharmaceuticals come from abroad. It is estimated that 40 percent of the finished pills come from abroad including countries such as India, China, Brazil and Mexico.

When patients experience problems with certain generic formulations, doctors and pharmacists should offer a sympathetic ear and report the problems directly to the FDA's website (MedWatch). Perhaps if pharmacists insisted that the FDA do a better job both approving and monitoring generic drugs, patients would have more confidence in these money-saving pills.

What troubles me even more is that there are many patients out there with ailments and complaints of aches and pains and have no clue that their medication is responsible for it.  My question is “why the pharmacists and doctors not reporting all the complaints received from the patients regarding the generic drugs”?

You have to be your own medical advocate otherwise you are royally playing Russian roulette with your health and life!  Don't ignore those aches and pains and think it is just caused by aging.

I'm livid!

October 16, 2011

Ballroom Dancing!

I normally look forward to watching Dancing With The Stars on TV but I'm really getting uninterested, as it is no longer a dance competition but rather a popularity contest which upsets me.

I was a ballroom dancer all of my younger life and entered several competitions and did very well.  It is a lot of hard work and won ribbons and trophies for dancing the ballroom dances perfectly by judges.

I was exhilarating to glide across the that beautiful dance floor with the mirrored ball on the ceiling!  I loved every minute of it.  It was a wonderful time of my life.

Dancing With The Stars has eliminated superb dancers and kept individuals that cannot dance at all.  I don't consider climbing a flight of stairs dancing!  I suppose if your mother is "Cher".... you will get millions of votes.  This individual can't walk let alone dance!

I have nothing against transgender individuals but if you can't dance you should be eliminated!  Dancing with the Stars started out to be only with Dance Instructors and if you are a child of a does that make you a celebrity? 

All these shows that allow people to vote is not fair.  You should not be selected the best dancer just because your friends are voting for you and/or your mother is a major star!  This competition should be graded by talent and hard work by judges only.

I have been voting every week for who is the best dancer in my personal opinion because I know what the dance steps involves to all the various ballroom dances.  I'm not going to bother anymore!  The show is getting ridiculous!


October 4, 2011

This is already a wonderful Day!

This is already a wonderful day!. Expect it to get even better!

I received two telephone calls and one email today from close friends that just started some new adventures in their life and some are experiencing different life changes.

Even though some of you are facing new challenges with new jobs or changing careers or letting go of a relationship, we all know how overwhelming and stressful it can get.

There are many interesting and useful things you already know. Expect to learn even more.

You all have successfully navigated through every past challenge. Expect to reap even greater success from the challenges you now face. However, do not let others take advantage of the new kid on the block. Some issues need to be nipped at the bud before it progresses.

There is already great value in your life and in your world. Expect to create even more.

As good as life is, you can make it even richer and more fulfilling. Expect to move forward today and you’ll find a way, no matter what, to make real progress.

If you knew without a doubt that you would get what you expect, what would you expect? Truly expect the best of today and you’ll find those expectations leading you steadily forward.

Best of luck to all of you! I’m praying that you will experience the best of today, tomorrow and the following days thereafter!

When you assert yourself, you make your own Choices. You make room for your confidence to Explode. Practice confident assertion by saying, "Yes" to the things you want to do and, "No" to the things you don't.

Don't be afraid or feel guilty for asserting yourself. You have nothing to lose. You will only become Stronger and more self sufficient, and in turn your Self respect and self worth will shine!

I’m praying for all three of you my special dear ones!  I want to see all of you SHINE!

September 13, 2011

Dreading sitting in the Dentist Chair!

I’ve always feared the dentist chair due to aggressive dentists which cause unnecessary pain to the patient. I now have to make an appointment again and my heart continues to race. Let’s say, I have extreme case of dental phobia! I’m well aware that my fears are not uncommon and many steer clear of the dentist each year due to anxiety.

I have been letting this dental issue linger longer than I should have and now it’s time to pay the piper!

I got some referrals from friends and found a great woman dentist a few towns away. She was amazing and calmed my fears. She explained to me that new technologies have made dental procedures shorter and state of the art instruments mean less discomfort.

Plus, she stated that the younger dentists today acknowledge patient stress.

Unfortunately, this new found wonderful dentist does not accept Medicare patients or any form of insurance for that matter. With Humana Gold Plus, I’m allowed free cleanings and xrays. That alone is costly. So, I thought I’d try the Humana way and hate to leave the lovely woman dentist that doesn’t hurt me sitting in that “chair”.

Keep flossing everyone!

September 4, 2011

Don't Let Life Discourage You!

I had one of those “melt down” days over something stupid!

It started when I left my Silvers Sneakers Class the other morning and this “road rage” poured out of me when I was leaving the parking lot to my gym. I counted seven (7) freaking cars that the drivers did not use their directionals to alert me that they were pulling in the parking lot I was pulling out of…..and yes, they all had their freaking cell phones glued to their ears! That got my blood boiling!

I think if all these Cell Phone users had to take their driver's license test over again, they would all flunk the test!  They are all forgetting the rules of the road because they are letting their cell phones distract them!

Yes, I have Bluetooth in my car so I’m fortunate that I don’t have to hold my phone to my ear but I care about my safety and the safety of others that I do not use my cell phone while driving unless it was an emergency.

How many years have we all gone without “cell phones”? Are all these calls really that urgent while driving?

I know there will be days when we all end up having a melt own, freaking out, and going into an emotional tailspin. It’s completely normal, I understand that.

What’s important is, once it’s over, I  need to pick up the pieces and regain my composure.  My problem is I beat myself up over it because I lost control.

We all expect bad days every once in a while. These days may scare me and upset me, but I realize they are all part of life. A great day is just around the corner!

I just imagine all the great things I could do if I were calm, peaceful, and relaxed while at the same time being highly determined and persistent. Though I often think of determination as stressful, anxious, hard-edged, and I also realize that it does not have to be. In fact, calm determination is every bit as effective as frenzied determination -- in most cases even more effective. And, it is a heck of a lot  more enjoyable.

I try real hard to give my best to when my day starts in the morning and give my best to all my efforts and pray that good things will come from it. I know that Hurricane Season here in South Florida is not helping my “feel good” days!

I wish I had more beads to make a pretty necklace or something with my newly found craft making “Fashion Jewelry”. I truly enjoy it and it calms me as well.

August 18, 2011

We all know what happens when we get older!

I’ve have not written in a while. My mind has been focused on family members that are ailing with one in a wheelchair suffering with Parkinsons, another sibling that has been falling and losing balance, two others with hip replacements, and one that is bedridden, and one that had a bad fall.

And very recently, my adorable niece just lost her husband and a young age of 55 from cancer. So very sad! All live out of state so I feel helpless living here in Florida and they are all in the Boston area. As you must realize by now that I come from a very large family!

Where have all the years gone that my siblings and myself are getting older and we all know what can happen as we get older: memory loss, aching bones, weight gain, diabetes, heart problems . . . But the real culprits aren't the problems per se; the biological mechanisms that cause them in the first place are. They are called the major agers.

Your genes determine how you age -- and what conditions and diseases you're most vulnerable to getting. You can't change your genes, but you can help control the way they take over your body. I’ve learned to protect myself from sunburn, I quit smoking four and a half years ago and I try to meditate almost every day to reduce my stress, I have become a Vegan (modified) and I exercise.





I purchased a DVD to try Chi Gong, a series of meditative movements that help calm the immune system to reduce chronic inflammation. It really helps me a lot and I continue with my Silver Sneakers Classes at my gym three days a week.

We live in a world with chemicals -- from cars, cleaning products, pesticides on our food and fumes from factories. Some of the toxins make themselves obvious (for instance, they smell bad), but many are colorless or odorless, so you may not notice that they're seeping into your world and your body.

A few years ago, I purchased a floor steamer to steam my tiled floors and my rugs; I’ve also purchased special cleaning cloths to eliminate the constant use of paper towels for cleaning. Going Green is not that hard and it will save you tons of money as well.

I think it is important to detox your home the best you can.

Right now my mind is spinning with so many concerns and foremost the pain my young niece is experiencing right now with her loss. I know only too well that going from widowhood to selfhood is more than coping and overcoming. We are dragged unwillingly into this so-called life passage, as always there will be good days and bad days and all the little inequities that comprise life at any time.

I know that acceptance is the final stage of recovery for widows and when you reach that stage you will be able to function independently and to make a new life. I wish I could lighten her burden but unfortunately, it’s a road one has to travel by yourself to accept the final stage and it is not easy and I say this from experience.

July 23, 2011

Ready or not, here it comes!

Whether high tech changes are good or bad depends in part on how we adapt to them. But, ready or not, here they come.

I personally can’t imagine the world without the Post Office but I surely see it coming soon. They are so deeply in financial trouble that there is probably no way to sustain it long term. E-mail, Fed Ex, and UPS have just about wiped out the minimum revenue needed to keep the post office alive. Most of us pay our bills online these days and the mailbox is just filled with junk mail.

The end of reading most Newspapers is coming. I now read mine online. It was just a thing to do after retirement and trying to cut back on expenses. But I have noticed that the younger generation simply doesn't read the newspaper. I do feel bad that so many people will be unemployed because of our new high tech way of life. I still miss the “Milk Man”.

I no longer purchase Magazines either.

No, I have not given up the physical book yet for the “Kindle”. I still love going to my local library to select a few books to read.

I’m considering dropping my landline and just keep my cell phone but I get a little uncomfortable of letting go of it just yet. All the cell phone companies will let you call customers using the same cell provider for no charge against your minutes but then again not everyone is on the same provider!

I’m upset that my CD player stopped working. I had the 6 CD changer which I loved. I have invested a great deal of money on CDs to enjoy my personal selection of music. Try and find a CD player today………….I truly don’t want to buy an IPOD.

But I do miss my music especially when I’m doing my housework or cooking.  There is the option for the very expensive "Bose" but who can afford it and it is quite pricey should it breakdown leaving you still searching for a CD player?????

I’m very much aware that most of my prize possessions I own today may not even be around in the future. Today my computer stores my photos, music, graphics, blogs and documents.

We live in a virtual cyberspace world, you can access your music or your books, or your whatever from any laptop or handheld device. You can purchase just about anything you want or need via the computer or your fancy phone. That's the good news.

But, will you actually have any of this "stuff" if it disappears at any moment in a big "Poof?" Will most of the things in our lives be disposable? It makes you want a backup system and pull out that photo album, grab a book from the shelf, or open up a CD case and pull out the insert.

We no longer have privacy…that is gone. It's been gone for a long time. There are cameras on the street, in most of the buildings, and even built into your computer and cell phone. But you can be sure that 24/7, "They" know who you are and where you are, right down to the GPS. We are constantly being put in a position to keep buying the same concept but in a different package over and over again.

As much as I love my computer, the “simple” life was comforting and certainly less expensive. We are left with the memories!