December 14, 2011

Do you feel uncared for and unloved?

We all experience days when we feel down and out and totally depleted, uncared for, unloved. The world was certainly not my oyster yesterday. Yet, we are the same person we were yesterday, today, and will be tomorrow, even though our circumstances may try to convince us otherwise. I was feeling perfectly fine this yesterday morning but who knows how the remainder of one day can change your life.

I created “Time Capsule” many years ago and filled it with items that I collected over time: a special card from a favorite relative, my children’s first handmade cards from kindergarten with the words “MOM, I love you,” a photo of me and my best friend. The pretty sea shell I found on the beach, the wine label from my first date with my husband; all this helps me to re-align my spirit and see the world as the wonder that it is.

My “Time Capsule” represents tangible items of the love and joy that were present in my world each and every day that has passed. My Time Capsule is quite full and I may start another one. I guess the idea is to look in it years later and reap the joy of past memories! I don’t know if I will have pleasant memories to put in the second Time Capsule.

It is hard to make happiness the number one thing in your life when you are a Widow. I’m the only one responsible for my happiness now. When you have a special someone is in your life, that person contributes to your happiness……that helps a bit more. I never thought I’d feel so much alone. So distant from everyone I love even my children since we live in different states.

I made a list once of one hundred things about me and posted it on my Blog. I try not to expect others to behave in a way I want, so I will be happy. Be as it may, we are the only ones in control of our happiness and it is a choice, no matter what anyone else thinks.  I did instill in my children to respect themselves and others.

The items I collected throughout the years in my happy box is wonderful. I need to make new memories and start a new Time Capsule.

The combination of widowhood and aging creates a constant challenge for someone to try and be more positive all of the time. I hope your children and family remain close to you and care about your happiness.

Love and respect yourself completely!


  1. As always 'Roses are REad' has a thought provoking entry. We (Sherry & I) know that one day one of us will be left. We try to learn from life. Trying to pay attention to those who have lived thru circumstances we haven't, because we now know they have become more important to us.
    Many of your feelings are verbalized by my sister, who also has lost that one who helped anchor her happiness.
    You have lots of good ideas. I have never thought of a time capsule, even though we all have a few things that remind us of better times.
    Thanks Rose, Love from this end of the Turnpike.
    Sherry & Jack

  2. I LOVE the Time Capsule idea. Putting tangible items of love and joy inside. Being a widow is difficult I know. My BFF lost her husband going on 2 years. She has 4sons, DILs and grandchildren, but it doesn't fill the void she feels. And at this time of year, being alone is particularly hard. You can't change the situation, but you can change your reaction to it. Hope that helps, just a little. Take care.

  3. Instead of a time capsule, I count my blessings. When ever I start to feel alone or blue, I think about all the good things in my life and pretty soon I snap out of it. Just like your time capsule I do feel much better. But you are right in thinking it's time for something new, not that I would ever stop being thankful. But as we get older we need to start some new traditions and do thing differently just because we've changed so much. I've been a widow now for almost 20 years and still do many things I did when my husband was living. It is time to do something new. I'll have to think about that.

  4. I'm a pack rat which makes me a walking time capsule. I had another time capsule stored away, but the other night I had a friend over and we drank it....


  5. I think the second time capsule should start with the things that brought you joy and fond memories from the first.