My daughter took these amazing pictures!
When you are depressed, oh my, it just clouds everything. The world looks baron and your thoughts turn into negative feelings of hopelessness. The negative and self-critical thoughts are haunting. The incidents that caused your depression are imbedded in your head and you repeat verbatim the words and anger over and over not allowing the mind to rest.
I'm constantly feeling tired all the time and difficulty falling asleep, gaining weight too. Depression affects people of every color, race, economic status, or age; however, it does seem to affect more people as they get older.
My doctor diagnosed my depression which doctor's refer to as an adjustment disorder with depressed mood. That was seven years ago when my husband passed away..............and all those same feelings are now returning to haunt me but triggered off over another issue and family related. The doctor explained that this particular diagnosis refers to depressive reactions to a specific life events (such as a death, divorce, or other loss or painful family issues), when adjusting to the loss takes longer than the normally expected timeframe or is more severe than expected and interferes with the person's daily activities.
When family members shows disrespect, it hurts and hurts bad and can cause major sadness leading to depression. A negative, stressful, or unhappy family atmosphere can affect your self-esteem and lead to depression. This, I consider a high-stress level.
Some people don't really understand about depression. For example, they may react to a depressed person's low energy with criticism, yelling and cursing at the person certainly does not help. Some people think that depression is just an attitude or a mood that a person can just make disappear. Not so.
It was explained to me by my doctor that depression is different than sadness. Everyone has some ups and downs, and sadness is a natural emotion. The normal stresses of life can lead anyone to feel sad every once in a while since life is not just a bowl of cherries!
Depression is more than feeling down in the dumps, it is a strong mood involving sadness and despair that lasts for weeks and weeks and sometimes even longer. It interferes with your ability to participate in normal activities.
I try to reap the benefits from mood-boosting activities like exercise, yoga, dance, and especially journaling. It helps to keep busy no matter how tired you feel. Exercising in my pool helps me a great deal. My mind does not wander and I'm concentrating on my aqua aerobics and for a short time during the day, it seems to help. I have not mastered the art of meditation because I can't sit still long enough and my mind cannot hold the concentration needed to meditate. My girlfriend gave me a CD to listen to help calm my nerves but that doesn't seem to help either.
My panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you feel like you are having a having a heart attack or even dying. Oh my......why is all this happening? I thought I had a loving family! Yes, I'm sad and needed to write in my journal to help release the pain. I love my children more than I love taking my next breathe. Mother's Day was always so special and even more exciting than Christmas for me. Can children just stop loving their mother? To think, I used to boast that I had the best children in the world because I taught them "Respect". So....what happened??????????????? They are grown adults and know better.
I'm grateful for my caring friends, you all know who you are .......you care that my well being is important to you ......that makes me feel special. Thank you!
We have all made new friends since graduating high school, but we have stood the test of time after seeing each other 46 years later for a wonderful luncheon. It first started to be a lunch for three with me flying up from Florida and Sal and Carolyn driving up from CT.....and turned into so much more to my shocking surprise!
Oh the stories.......we were all renewing our youth. One would remember something that another forgot, our new friends are great but aren't our old friends just the best! I find that true friendships never ever decay.....we just may turn a little gray! LOL I'm starting to rhyme here! ha ha ha
Yeah, Boston still rocks for me!
We were all connected by emotions from childhood onto High School and then onto adulthood. We have all gone our separate ways and started our own families and for many, moved out of state and the years just past so quickly.
I think we will always continue our forever friendship. The world does not seem so lonely and empty when you get older and widowed like me, just knowing you have so many special friends in your life who genuinely care about you is Priceless!
I missed our past 45th Class Reunion because I live out of state and still working at the time and my grumpy boss would not allow me the time off to attend. Now, I truly understand everyone's comments on how they didn't want the day to end. That is how I felt with this wonderful luncheon.......simply just didn't want the day to end. And, lovely Meri invited us all to her house after lunch at the Continental and the reminiscing went on and on. Jeanine was wonderful to bring her scrapbook of memories from grammar school. Sal and his lovely wife, Carolyn also brought their wedding album and his yearbook for us to sign again! Well, I missed signing it in 1962 but had the privilege to sign it 46 years later!
Scotty traveling all the way from Maine to attend the event. What a surprise to see Peter........never knew you were a ballroom dancer! Can't wait to glide across the dance floor with you during my next trip to Boston!
You know what I think is so special?..............I don't hear too many other people raving about their classmate friends like we do...........we really love our friends. What a great feeling that is.
I'm closing this entry with the ABC Friendship Poem:
(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plain things you don'tunderstand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality
Since I'm still in Boston and not on my personal home computer, I can't add my graphics and animations but I had to jot down my thoughts and feelings as three weeks later, my memory may fade....not of the special day but of certain words I wanted to convey to all that were there for our special lunch!
So, I will remind you to take another peak at my Journal when I return to Florida. I will then create a nice photo album as well.
Thanks to all of you for the memories!
With Affection, Rose
I'm still trying to adjust to the "retired" lifestyle.
My favorite part is that I don't have to set that #$%^&* alarm clock anymore! Some days are boring, I will not deny that but then again, I was bored when I was working too! My evenings and weekends are still the same. I guess living alone alters your way of life.