Looking Back!

Before computers, I always maintained a Journal. I came across the Journal I had put away after I said my goodbye to my deceased husband.

In those days, I was writing to him personally on a daily basis and not just the events of the day like a teenager would write in her “Dear Diary”. The Bereavement Group I was a member of suggested to do this as a form of therapy to help survive the bereavement process. A lot has changed since 2001.

On one page, I wrote: “Outside the weather is still hot here in South Florida but inside the bills are higher and listening to the News every night on TV, it seems like all around us the world is getting crazier! Scary!” The cost of living is so much higher and more difficult to handle everyday maintenance and household bills.

“I’ve made some changes in the house too…..a few needed repairs, some of which I attempted to do myself to save the cost of labor. The shower head no longer leaks. The noisy toilet is also fixed. It is not easy without you.” Decided to take up some Work Shop Lessons in Home Depot. Well, my friend, Laurie and I only went to one workshop so far! LOL

I have had three dates since you passed away 8 years ago. By choice, I prefer to no longer accept a date. No one can shine your shoes. Yet, I won’t lie, it is very lonely in the evenings with the clicker in your hand. Yes, I’m on the computer more these days than ever.

I miss ballroom dancing. I miss laughing so hard until my stomach hurts with your quick wit and sense of humor.

I enjoy the company of my girlfriends which many are also Widows! Becoming uncoupled and the interdependence suddenly appear as individual flaws. From the beginning, we Widows and Widowers share the same emotional crisis. We equally are bereft, confused, lost and brokenhearted. It seems that…………..that part does not change, as much as we try to create a new life for ourselves. Being older has a lot to do with it I’m sure. Oh my, I received my “Medicare” card in the mail and I was delighted to see it. Thought I’d never say those words! The cost of medical coverage is outrageous! I still miss my family in New England!

I stopped smoking and gained some weight! The smoking part, I know would make you happy as we both attempted to quit that disgusting bad habit countless times in the past……gaining weight, I know would disappoint you, as you always noticed if I put on so much as one pound! LOL

Time to put the handwritten Journal away again in the big “Time Capsule”. I seemed to have grown a long way since then but I still miss you!
Oh, the tangled web we weave here on the World Wide Web! How wonderful it is to have my Internet Friends to listen when I’m worried, cheer me up when I’m down, encourage me when I’m scared and console me when I’m defeated and to keep me company in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. Thank you!

Patrick Swayze dies at age 57!

Patrick Swayze, the hunky actor who danced his way into viewers' hearts with "Dirty Dancing" and then broke them with "Ghost," died today after a battle with pancreatic cancer. He was 57.

Patrick Swayze passed away after facing the challenges of his illness for the last 20 months.

Mona Lisa Puzzle

CLICK ON THE ARROW. IT TOOK ME 13.12 TO COMPLETE
THE PUZZLE. LET ME KNOW HOW WELL YOU DO!

Single again in your 60s!

Single again in your 60s!

Wow, I’ve said it before, the bars/lounges has lost its glitter. It’s not the same glamorous atmosphere it used to be.

I realized last night that my other widowed friends and I are doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. I think if we continue to go to bars expecting to meet men, maybe we need to stop and think this over more.

Perhaps joining a bowling league or taking golf lessons would create different results! LOL

It has been proven before….we have to get out of our comfort zone because what we are doing is not working. We need to try new activities that will put us in a different environment that will offer new opportunities!

I think we are all burned out on the online dating thing too. What a dilemma! We are not ready for BINGO just yet. LOL

There is no insurance policy in life and no guarantee that we will make all the best decisions as we get older because we were not prepared to be widowed at such a young age. We are not a bunch of shy ladies so taking on a new adventure and exploring new avenues would be interesting. I’ll have to bring this topic up again soon……maybe tonight at yet another Singles Dance………….Ugh! I almost dread going. Well, the “People Watching” is very entertaining especially after the second drink! LOL

I’m sure men feel the same way too. So, what do you older single folks do for entertainment and please don't tell me Crossword Puzzles! LOL

We Remember!

Losing a Good Friend to Cancer.

Losing a good friend to Cancer is so sad. I just lost a very dear girlfriend and saying good-bye for the last time was very hard. I just want to say a very special Tribute to my friend, may God bless you and take good care of you-----Shirley Costanza! It will be a long journey for your loved ones to learn how to live without you. The pain is unbearable, I know. I pray for everyone who loves you.

Good friendships, is something you always want to keep forever because they are so special and make you feel special too. Even though life circumstances change, we lose touch for periods of time here and there, yet remain friends, as if a day did not go by at all. People move, change jobs, marriages begin, marriages end, new relationships begin, raising children and life takes on different twists and turns but if you have a healthy relationship to begin with, you will remains friends forever and we did just that!

Yet, ever wonder why sometimes we hold onto unhealthy friendships when we should learn to say good-bye to a bad friend that drains you of every ounce of energy you have. Why do we do that? Is it we do not want to hurt their feelings?

Great friendships may be few and far between, I've been blessed and lucky to cultivate a handful of good friends. However, nothing is forever with the roller coaster ride down life's highway. Things are constantly changing and nothing is guaranteed, neither is friendship. I will miss you Shirley!

What happened to Customer Service?

Customer service is supposed to involve a series of activities and I was always under the impression it was originally designed to enhance the level of customer satisfaction – that is, the feeling that a product or their service has met the customer's expectation.

I have to argue the fact that the quality and level of customer service has decreased big time in recent years, and that this can be attributed to a lack of support or understanding at the executive and middle management levels of a corporation. I personally believe that providing a high level of customer service is the only way to grow your business in these times. But hey folks, the decline also started when they send people out to the customer's home and they can't speak "English".....that would be problem number one! This is a big issue with me. This is my country and I feel like the foreigner!

So, our major companies that have survived the economical crisis still need to listen up and pay attention to put their level of Customer Service back on track. I was one very annoyed and disappointed customer and I certainly made that known to the Company and I also demanded restitution for my inconvenience and my blood pressure rising!

During 1962, I applied for my first credit card after graduating high school and was thrilled. This credit card was one of the most difficult to obtain many years ago. Their reputation of standing behind their products was impeccable so I remained a loyal customer for 47 years until my very last purchase .......I'm livid, not because of their products but because of their “Customer Service”.

When expecting delivery of my new appliances, I never anticipated such a change of events from a reputable company that I have done business with for years. Years ago, they were always absolutely fundamental in ensuring my major purchases to arrive on time and in excellent condition.

However, this recent delivery and installation started the trickling effects of a disaster starting with the dryer "ON" button not working which required a second delivery. Then they could not fit it in the closet that houses my appliances. All it needed was for them to be pushed back one more inch. I guess the first set of delivery guys (who could not speak English) created the onset of events. The second set of delivery men (who also could not speak English) annoyed me even more. They forgot to hook up the water hose. The Steam Feature dryer requires a water hose.……..geeze! Talk about imbeciles! I paid for new vents and brackets but these guys loved using masking tape instead! Mind you, the new vents and brackets were mandatory to buy.

After many calls I had to place for complaints.......now the appliance is dancing like crazy and the noise is terrible. I guess a “Level” is no longer used?????.......Finally, I got through to Customer Service after a handwritten letter and also a written email sent with furry banging on my keyboard.

Their third trip back to my house, I demanded a gentleman that had to be born and raised and educated in the United States and could speak perfect "English". Finally, my request was provided. This gentleman took care of all the issues and I now can do laundry! I think they sent the Professor of Technology…………I was extremely impressed and finally a satisfied customer but my nerves were rattled prior to this.

That was a long two weeks! Hey, I was starting to run out of clean bloomers! LOL

Well, if anyone is searching for the perfect washer/dryer. I do have to admit that Kenmore Elite Front Loader is an amazing piece of technology. They have three computers inside. A Steam Feature that you will love. Saves on a lot of clothes not going to the "Cleaners".

Also, saves on less ironing. Uses less electricity. Gosh, I hate to iron. For people with allergies, this Steam Feature and Sanitizing system is excellent. The best part for me is that I no longer have to bend down to remove clothes from the dryer, etc. I have a bad back. They are pricey but worth it.

FYI: The tech (the educated one who speaks English) that services many stores said I made an excellent choice, as the Kenmore is even better than the LG, Bosch, etc. The product is also made in the good old U.S. of A! I originally wanted to purchase the LG. So, I at least made the right choice. Actually, the price factor made that choice for me and the 20% off and additional discounts for purchasing a color they wanted to get rid of because they had too many of.

Don't Waste Your Money!

I have many friends that just can’t understand how I can live on a Social Security check alone! I do have to admit, it was a major adjustment to let go of some of what I call luxuries. (like going to the Mall) But do I really need another pair of shoes?

Well, when I lost my job I was thinking of ways to live on less money. We have all taken a hit on our investments so it forces us to spend more conservatively. Either way, I found ways to still enjoy my retirement with a low monthly bank balance.

I realized when I walked into my closet and still saw clothes with tags still on them and now no longer even fit anymore….what a waste of money! I was wasting money on things I no longer value or either I pay more for stuff I really don’t need.

For me, I found it a waste of money to subscribe to Netflix and a gym membership that I did not faithfully attend. I now have DVDs to exercise at home in my own comfort with a stronger a/c and ceiling fan and exercise at my convenience and at no cost to me. Being a resident of South Florida also allows me to exercise in the pool most days. During the winter months, I walk around my complex or down the beach when it is less humid out.

I’m doing my own manicures and pedicures these days except I do go probably twice a year as a special treat to pamper myself but no longer on a regular basis. I read my newspaper online now and I don’t miss the black ink on my fingers and on my table.

Cut out those coupons you receive in the mail! I’m using more coupons these days and I’m amazed at the savings at the grocery stores and at restaurants to….buy one dinner get the other free. My computer is a great tool to search for coupons and promotion codes. Also, I now buy no-brandname products that cost less.

I cook at home 6 days a week and go out with my friends one day a week whether it is out for dinner or enjoying a Happy Hour. I also enjoy cooking for my friends occasionally. Laughter around my dining room table with good food is a pleasurable evening for me and my friends love it too.

I don’t gamble as I feel it is a waste of money. Yeah, once in a while I may buy a Lottery ticket. But I stay away from the Casinos, etc.

I may live in Boca Raton but I’m not really considered a Boca Babe because I don’t have a cleaning lady! I do my own cleaning and always have. Gosh, that alone people are paying $75. an hour for and probably more! The only help I have is a Roomba vacuum cleaner that with a press of a button vacuums for me, it is also on a timer and goes off on scheduled days that I programmed into the docking station. I call her “Little Rosie”. It does a fabulous job and with my bad back……..a lifesaver! I’m not pushing a heavy upright. I have been using “Little Rosie” for 6 years now! Best product ever!

And, for those of you who have grandchildren….there is no need to spoil them and break the bank with trips to Disney and purchasing extravagant toys, etc. A great BBQ right in your own backyard can be more enjoyable and memorable! Remember to take the camera out to share the memories. And also keep in mind, your adult children need to learn responsibility and support themselves. I have so many friends that their adult children keep on draining them dry….what gives with that? They need to grow up….slap them on the back of the head and tell them to get a job!

I may not be able to afford jaunts to Europe or eat in five star restaurants anymore but I’m not unhappy. I just wish to be able to see my children more that live out of state. Even better, I wish I could move back home in New England!

I'm blessed with good friends here in Florida and also with my Forever Friends in New England.

Remember, focus on activities and purchases you value most and ones that you really need and spend more time with family and good friends and DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY!

What do you make time for?

I decided I needed to make a list of activities for myself and tape it to my bathroom mirror to make sure I keep the promises to myself. Some I do faithfully and some I slack up on…….sigh!

I currently enjoy my bi-weekly trips to my local library. My new local library is quite inspirational. I try to take time to read away from my home. Those cell phone people are forced to mind their manners at a Library! Thank goodness, as I enjoy the quietness and calming tranquility there. The place is simply beautiful.

Checking the local papers (online of course) for daily events and activities that are open to the public like art, music and fairs allows me to find something new and possibly challenging and of course, enjoyable. I have a gal friend and her name is Deby, she has created an Event Calendar Online for Singles over 40 which is fabulous. I have also shared some of my graphics with her for her site called: http://www.steppingoutflorida.com/.

Occasionally, I attend seminars without making a commitment. I just like to collect investment information to gain more personal knowledge. I have even attended some seminars at some pretty expensive restaurants…….hey, free great dinners! Not bad!

Why is it that exercising is such an effort? I don’t know a single person that actually loves to exercise do you? We all make a super effort to exercise daily for health purposes. I do my workout routines with DVDs. Some days I get into a slump. I think I’m going to purchase some hand weights. Nothing heavy…probably start off with 3lbs weights and work myself up to 5lbs. Don’t laugh…I’m a considered a Senior Citizen! I have to take it slow and easy. LOL

It is an absolute must that I set aside time each week for my personal bookkeeping and errands and of course, the never ending housework! I know most Boca women here in South Florida have cleaning ladies but NOT this Italian Boca Babe! Even if I could afford it, I don’t know if I would want someone in my home touching my personal possessions. I guess it is my Italian upbringing! LOL Yeah, I have a rug cleaning guy I try to call in once a year and the same with my outside windows…Trying to keep windows clean in a condo is nearly impossible to do it by yourself.

Of course, all single women need a “Handyman”! I, fortunately found a great guy but he lives so far away so I try to accumulate a list of repairs before calling him. Oh my, I recall the days when living up in New England, all I had to do was call one of my brothers, brother-in-laws or nephews and the job would be done and for FREE! My handyman’s prices are fair and reasonable and he does great work so he is a “keeper”.

I’m a member of a weekly widow’s group. And, I don’t join them for dinner every week but I like to see them at least once a month or so.

I’ve been trying to force myself to get out more and mingle with people with a purpose and that does not mean meeting the opposite sex all the time. I mean like going to a park or going to a specialty store or a Wine Tasting or Coffee Tasting. I remember when I used to enjoy taking a nice long walk along the beach by myself and feeling the breeze on my face and stopping at one of the benches and just people watching…now that is always fun….people are hilarious and sometimes do such stupid things that it cracks me up! I used to love to People Watch especially in Boston at Faneuil Hall….oh my….just too funny! I loved spending my lunch hours outdoors unless it was payday then was in Filene’s basement hunting for the designer clothes at bargain prices!

I think it is a good idea to have lunch at least once a week with a good friend or do a Happy Hour.

I devote many hours to my two blogs: Roses Are Read and The Lantern. I am a member to several graphic sites, so I can enhance my blogs with cute animated graphics. I consider my blogs the “Cutest Blogs” on the block! I love reading other Blogger’s Blogs. Some have become very special Internet Friends which is nice. I’m also a member of Facebook, Twitter and gosh hope there isn’t anymore new ones coming out anytime soon. I just don’t have the time! LOL

I love to cook but cooking for one is not always impressive but sometimes I treat myself like company and put out a place setting in the dining room just for me…..candles and all….even music! I sometimes have Sully serenading me with some of his own singing that he sends to me via the computer! I’m referring to Jimmy Sullivan, a great Blogger Friend.

I try to swim every day in my condo pool weather permitting! It is Hurricane Season right now and the daily thunderstorms are preventing me from enjoying my pool. Exercising in the pool hurts less and is more enjoyable than sweating it out at a gym or power walking on a hard pavement. Power walking in place in the pool is wonderful.

I guess I have included just about everything on my list that I make time for. Perhaps I should add a few more activities. Dancing was always at the top of my list years ago but I have not found the right dancing places here in South Florida. Bummer! Dancing several nights a week also kept my figure quite svelte in days gone by! I never had to go to a gym then. LOL

Absolutely Nothing is Forever!

Everyone has this beautiful family tree and then all of a sudden one falling leaf forever alters the tree. With families, each relationship has changed us individually and it always has a rippling effect somehow.

Those falling leaves first start most times with our grandparents, then our parents, then our spouses and so on. Then we all become more vulnerable, more sensitive, more confused, angrier and definitely more frightened.

Nothing is forever, no one knows that better than the Widow, because suddenly nothing is the same. The drastic change comes with a jolt and a crash………..sort of like an earthquake…….never quite settles back to its original place. Time to make changes in your life even though X amount of years have gone by, it still feels like it was just yesterday.

I’ve always been a very independent person but for some reason getting older takes on a different twist on trying to be that brave person again. I have no clue what happens. All of a sudden children behave like parents and parents behave like children! Ever notice?

Sometimes I start to feel out of balance with the world. I know I’m not the only one that feels this way. I suppose because I’m not the same person I was 20 years ago and things change. Accepting change is the challenge. I also notice the change in my widowed friends……..they are not the same person they used to be, as widowhood alters your life.

Trying to make a new life…….oh my, now that is a super challenge! I don’t know if I want to let someone in my life again, yet I do miss being a couple.

My body is not the same anymore…this really bothers me because I’m uncomfortable with my weight gain. I packed on a few before I stopped smoking but the additional pounds after I stopped smoking……..Oh my….can’t seem to knock those lbs off…….so frustrating! Like I said………Nothing is Forever! But, I’m now challenged to make the change both with my body and mind!

Mind Your High Tech Manners!

I love high technology but come on people---where are your manners?

There is absolutely no doubt that email has increased productivity in offices worldwide, but it's important to remember that even though it's a quick and easy form of communication, the messages you send should still be well thought out and professional.

I can understand teaching Tweens to Mind their Manners regarding their cell phones and texting but YOU adults out there should know better!

I was out three times this week and each time whether it was a Happy Hour or meeting a friend for lunch. The damn texting begins. Did you ever notice while sitting at a bar or a restaurant the first thing a person does is put their cell phone on the bar or the table in front of them?

Listen up------Texting while talking to someone is considered rude. Gosh, while having a face-to-face conversation with another individual, it is best to wait to use a cell phone until the conversation has ended. It is also better to wait to answer a ringing cell phone while talking, unless the person knows an important call is coming.

When the Texting feature first came out on cell phones, I personally had “texting” blocked from my cell phone because I was being charged for each text message that came in whether I read it or not. At the time, I didn’t even know how to use this feature and I still care not too.

Isn’t it plain common sense that when you are having a face-to-face communication, it should prevail over the use of texting?

I believe that Texting is a great tool when used properly and in the right scenario. Texting while driving should be outlawed! It is disgusting and causes so many accidents. Yeah, I know that its abbreviated spelling is all the rage, it's easy to let “text-talk” spill over into your emails. Unless you're a Tween……try to resist the temptation to abbreviate. It is so juvenile to hack up the English language. An educated individual should know better.

Repeat after me: read and reread your email before you hit send. Does it make sense? Does it accurately convey your message? Is it grammatically correct? Put yourself in the recipient's shoes. How will they interpret it? It's well worth your time to make sure your email gets your message across especially in the office.

Once you've read and reread your email, double check the recipient's address. Not only will this save time, but it could also save you some embarrassment. Once it's sent, it's sent. And, try to stay away from the "Reply All" button! We all know why. We have all learned from our mistakes regarding email Etiquette! Now, someone needs to post “Texting” Etiquette for Tweens and Adults!

Give the cell phone a rest!

I have a dear friend that just told me her divorced daughter is now dating again. She claims she met this wonderful, handsome, wealthy man but there is one problem. He never calls her on the phone. He only sends text messages! Dah! I don’t consider that “Romantic” do you? Her daughter brought this topic to his attention and his reply was that is how he communicates in work and pleasure! She dumped this guy! Wonder why?

Are you one of those cell phone abusers??? Do you text when in company of others?

What did we all do before cell phones and texting? One ringy dingy....two ringy dingy!

Laughter Yoga! No Joke!

There are actually Laughter Yoga classes! I thought it was a joke!

I read that across the globe more and more people are laughing and not just because something is funny. There are actually certified laughter yoga instructors. Do you believe this? Even though yoga is in the name, it doesn’t involve challenging poses or meditation. Laughter Yoga International defines laughter yoga as “a unique exercise routine that combines group laughter exercises with yoga breathing and allows anyone to laugh without using jokes, humor or comedy”.

I read an article that Mayo Clinic suggests you find items that make you chuckle and then put them in places where you will see them. Well, I’ve always heard of “Laughter is the best form of Medicine”. But Laughter Yoga?????

I do agree that laughter’s health benefits are no joke. Mayo Clinic’s article stated: In the short term, laughter can stimulate your organs, relieve stress and soothe tension and stomach aches. In the long term, laughter may improve your immune system, relieve pain and increase personal satisfaction.

There is a site http://www.laughteryoga.org/ and I was shocked that there are DVDs for sale costing over $100. to teach you how to fake laugh! Today there are more than 6,000 laughter yoga clubs in over 60 countries! I was shocked. Has anyone ever heard of these clubs????

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hi1WPUeNDJI
It is a must see.

Well, I can refer you to a site that won’t cost you a dime and I promise it will have you in stitches laughing; it is called Jimmy’s Journal http://jimsulliv3.blogspot.com/.

Hey Sully, you are doing great things for my health. Thanks!

Hugs, Rose