“Shoulda,Coulda, Woulda"

I’m not always able to stick to my plans every day when looking at my “To Do” list, and heck, I have to accept this fact upfront because it certainly could alleviate a lot of unnecessary stress for myself.

My moods were swinging all over the map the other day rushing to get to the dealership for a repair that was still under warranty yet, I was informed once I got there that the part needed to be ordered. Therefore, I was less likely to follow through on my original agenda for the day, as I have a tendency to be a methodical person and like things done in an orderly fashion.

Once I got home, I received an email from the Dealership that the part had arrived and I could go back to have it put in. Did I forget to mention that my wait turned into four and one half hours! Grrrrrrrr! I don’t even what to go there with the details!

I tried to suppress my feelings so I could remain open to them but I was annoyed that I missed my Silver Sneakers Class because of this.

Maintaining objectivity now became exhausting and my day was unproductive. I kept telling myself that I would feel much better once I gave myself permission to temporarily relinquish control.

So, I went home with my day all screwed up and as usual my phone is always ringing off the wall the minute I put the key in the door.

Do you have friends that continue to ask you questions about things that happened 20 years ago, that perhaps you choose to forget about them? Hmmmm! And, people wonder why I have such severe insomnia??? I don’t want to continue reliving my past…

I try so hard not to focus on the past but to focus on the future instead. When we spend too much time looking back at past events, we get caught up in the “shoulda, coulda woulda,” mental talk.

I’ve learned from my past and I had a hard time of letting it go. Yet, sometimes, people want to keep bringing up painful memories for some reason or another.

Life is best when you can allow what you do to flow directly from who you are. I realized that when my actions are filled with purpose and meaning, they are the ones that create the most value.

Life hands us many different situations and circumstances.

There is a wealth of abundance in the person you are. To fully tap into that abundance, you just gotta let your actions be guided by real and meaningful purpose.

I work hard to allow my efforts to flow from who I am. And, I find that real value will flow from those efforts. I find that energy grows stronger and stronger when I commit to make something meaningful to happen, it truly creates a new source of energy.

Ever notice that what you must have, you suddenly have the ability to acquire and what you must know, you suddenly are able to discover? True intention is not merely a mental exercise. It is a powerful, gut force.

Today is Mother’s Day and I’m anxiously waiting for my son’s visit from Boston.

Happy Mother’s Day to all out there that apply!

The Bathing Suit!

When I was a teenager in the late 50s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was-boned, trussed and reinforced. They were built to hold back and uplift, and they did a good job.

Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip.

The mature woman today has a choice, she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt which made me look like a chubby cheerleader!

 

What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material.

The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which gives the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you would be protected from shark attacks. Any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash.

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.

The bathing suit fitted all right, but unfortunately it only fitted those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom and sides. I looked like a lump of Playdoh wearing undersized cling wrap.

As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, "Oh, there you are," she said, admiring the bathing suit. I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me.

I struggled into so many bathing suits that I got so exhausted.  I tried on a pretty black bathing suit with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear it!

Finally, I found a suit that fitted; a poka dot, sarong style with a loose blouse-type top. It was bulge-friendly, so I bought it but still not happy but when you live in South Florida and most pools have chlorine, it ruins the bathing suits fast. 

Most complexes now are transforming their pools to salt water which is better for your skin and cheaper to maintain.  Wish my Condo Association would step up to the plate and make the change over but I doubt it.

 So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I'm there too, I'll be the one in a long wrap coverup.

 

May Your Cup Runneth Over!

Now that I am older and celebrated another birthday at the beginning of the year, time seems so quickly to pass, but each day is a gift to enjoy as long as it lasts. Seems only a short time ago that we celebrated Christmas day, then New Year’s Day and now Easter is almost here and I hardly know what to say! I would like to write something profound, but where do I begin?

I recently attended an all-Women’s “Tea and Testimonies” at a Community Church which a member of my gym invited me to. It was lovely and each table was decorated in fine china and each table had a different theme going on. All the ladies wore dresses and wearing hats (the one thing they forgot to tell me about) the hats! LOL

At the entrance stood a lovely young lady dressed in an all white paper dress. I thought it was a statue at first until she moved!

I’ve been spending less time at the pool lately…for one thing, it is too damn hot out there and the other, I’m waiting for all the snowbirds to go home so I can enjoy the pool all to myself again!

I also received an Invitation to a Champagne and Truffles Mixer for this week! Looking forward to that. This should be interesting.

Since I’m retired now, I have more time on my hands to think more………well, with my insomnia; my head is always twirling and thinking. I think that I spend a lot of time every day to recognize what I’m grateful for and it helps me keep things in perspective. Gratitude carries me through the tough times, and gives me the strength to surpass the stress of challenges. Well, that seems to work for me.

I surely would sleep better if I would let my mind rest a bit.

My thoughts reflect on my family and friends and where I’m currently living so far away from them. I receive great satisfaction that my children give me with just a simple phone call or email. I’m blessed with many phone calls from friends and many laughs I share with my children.

I find myself focusing more on my health lately as it seems after my recent fall and then a weird allergy reaction while at the gym, I find myself concerned about my health and mental or physical attributes. I’m guessing I’m not the only senior citizen that thinks about these things now. Well, I know these thoughts never entered my mind before that Medicare Card arrived in my mailbox! LOL

Looking back at small and large moments – the affection of family, and what I consider my success in the garden of a growing gratitude. These are all things that nourish my gratitude. And, gratitude makes life worth living!

Life is good!



Dollar Signs flash in front of my face!

When did you last clean out your closet? I try to prepare myself mentally first. Dollar signs flash in front of my face when I look at all those impulse buys that never worked, the outfits with tags still on them and I finally retired those too-tight jeans that I knew would never fit into again.

Does everyone have three sizes in their closet? Whew, felt good to get rid of the “too big” sizes was the only time I felt wonderfully cleansed and organized after losing 20 pounds. But the regret that I can’t fit into the much smaller sizes…ugh. Means, more days at the gym and less calorie intake!

Let’s not even get on the topic of “Shoes”. It hurts that I can no longer wear my beautiful high heels. Love, love my shoes. I don’t want to wear Granny shoes and I’m too short to wear flats……..way to unflattering for me! I got rid of all the stilettos but I will hold on to my 3” heels and wedges.

Why is it that I filled up 5 trash bags and it doesn’t even look like I made a dent in my closet? I have a walk-in closet and no storage space, so I think it looks cluttered because the bottom part of my closet is for luggage, boxes of stuff that I don’t know where to put……….ugh. Things I don’t want to part with for some reason. 

I know I can't part with my "Time Capsule" box filled with many memories, so that's a keeper.

I need a good mental cleanse to get rid of some old memories that cause the guilt, fears, doubts, and images that no longer need to rent space in my head and my closet.

I try to imagine the accomplishment of letting go of STUFF!

Why do we hold on to STUFF?

Don't Forget Daylight Savings Time this Weekend!

The Daylight Saving Time 2011 time change is fairly simple:

Most anything computerized, from a cell phone to a laptop, jumps ahead on its own.  Watches and clocks need to be reset manually, so we can inevitably forget to change one and confuse ourselves the next day.  And, I always forget to reset my clock in the car! 

Why can't we just leave the clocks on Daylight Savings all the time? 

Mardi Gras!

"Mardi Gras" means "Fat Tuesday." Traditionally, it is the last day for Catholics to indulge—and often overindulge—before Ash Wednesday starts the sober weeks of fasting that come with Lent.   

I recall my husband telling me stories of his trips to New Orleans when he was young with his buddies and other fun-seekers to celebrate the festivies there in their grand scale  with colorful parades in such a party-loving city.  He also was celebrating his birthday as well.

I personally have never been to New Orleans have you?

After watching the devastation of hurricane Katrina slam into New Orleans at the end of August 2005,  I was surprised that within a few months the city decided that Mardi Gras would go on.  Kudos to all that made it possible!

Fortunately, they had safely stored their parade floats before the hurricane. Some of the most popular parade routes, including St. Charles and Magazine Streets, were spared in the storm. For after-parade decadence, the French Quarter also emerged relatively unscathed.

Decisions, Decisions!

I had a week filled with many decisions to make. I needed new eyeglasses and I think I should have taken a friend with me that would give me an honest opinion selecting new frames but I didn’t want to impose on a friend’s time, so I did it alone like all the other times. I selected the frameless glasses. I like them but the Progressive lenses are a pain to get used to. It is not my first pair of Progressive either.

I fussed with the position of my computer monitor, my chair and even enlarged the font.  Heck, I should not have to enlarge the font with new glasses! I’m still very annoyed with these new futta, futta, glasses!

I was told by the eye doctor that I have to wear them all the time now instead of just for reading and computer……Ugh! I’m trying to be a good patient and wear them for a week like I was told and try to get used to them…………but damn……the fine print is still hard to read, if I got a new script to improve my vision………I should be able to read it with no effort! The only good feature that I selected that I like is the transitional so they turn into sunglasses when outdoors which allows me to read a book by the pool with comfort.

More decisions, I still have to have a handyman come in my house to do some work and two reasons are stopping me, one being financial and the other, I’m not sure what choice to make replacing a mirrored wall with what color paint and I’m sure the wall will need some repair as well so I’m told? I obtained several estimates and took a step further and contacted the Licensing Bureau to make sure the companies are insured as taking down a wall of mirror could be dangerous if the person got hurt, I don’t need someone slapping me with a lawsuit. Well, as it turned out, one company did not have insurance or workmen’s comp so took him off the list………………Ugh……………Sigh!

When I find myself facing a complex decision, I have to do a balancing act and weigh what is truly important to me. It may sound selfish, but it’s not. It is essential for me to make the best possible choices. In the past, I remember when most of these similar decisions needed to be addressed, my husband used to make for me or when I lived in New England, my brother-in-law and nephews would all lend a helping hand and I never had to pay for labor. I always had help and now facing all my decisions solo gives me reason for concern.

I hate when someone pressures me to make a decision that I’m not sure of. I may start out with the best intentions but I need to be motivated to carry it out, and may live with regret of my decision because I didn’t think it out thoroughly. I don’t like being pressured.

More decisions, my Primary Care doctor left it up to me regarding when I can go back to my Silver Sneakers Class after my knee injury. I was hoping she would give me a time frame as to how long she thinks it may take to heal????????????????? I tried going back the other day and it was too painful……….Yeah, that told me I needed to rest up some more………I miss my classes. I miss the gang there too. Getting cabin fever.

I guess self-awareness is the key to how the best decisions are made.

You are on the top of my list for Valentine's Day!

On Valentine’s Day,

when I think of the people

I care about and value,

you are at the top of the list.

Like a rainbow

glistening through the rain,

like a glowing green spring

after a cold gray winter,

you are a joy and a delight.

Like a good book, a cozy fire,

or a cup of cocoa (with marshmallows),

you are a comfort to me.

I appreciate you.

~By Joanna Fuchs~

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Get real picky - really picky!

Be picky. I have always set high standards for myself and I don't settle for less. It starts with self-respect. Respecting others is very important as well. All goes hand in hand of what your mother taught you. I don’t believe there are mothers out there teaching their children to be disrespectful bullies and complete morons!

I stopped reading boring emails that say it might have something in it you need to see, or watching violent nightly News that leaves me feeling helpless and afraid. I could care less about the celebrity sightings; they only make you feel like everyone else is living a great life but you.  Nope. No good!

Who cares what celebrities are doing, what they are wearing, who is cheating on who….who gives a damn?  They are all landing in Rehab these days so all that wealth and fame is not doing them any good.   And get over the Designer clothes. I wear what I like…

I do admit most times when I look at the label, it might have a designer name in it but it was selected because my eyes liked the garment first and not the label.

Years ago, before retirement, I learned to stop listening to the latest drama story at work or to the friend who's been complaining about the same damn thing for years. Ugh.

It's exhausting and it's creating a pathway that leads to nowheresville. We have all had that kind of friend in our lifetime. Time to dump them! Seriously! Enough with them having pity parties on your time and dragging you down into depression.

I learned to get real picky - really picky! I also remembered what my mother told me about selecting my friends. I also applied this theory to who I select for my doctors, my hairdressers, my dentist, where I shop for groceries and also department stores.

Be Picky! I select quality organic foods to put in my body and I also like a bargain like everyone else. I’m not ashamed to cut out coupons and see the savings at the end of that receipt. I also like the coupons for the department stores for the discounts and check for online coupons as well before making a purchase. Don’t forget to check for the free shipping and handling!

We have all experienced moments in life, when we feel burdened by situations beyond our control. Perhaps there is a serious situation or the threat of a layoff, or a rebellious child or grandchild - whatever the major issue is……….we have no choice but to feel pressure and completely overwhelmed by the weight of it all. Yikes!

I would rather take a good book out to lunch than a friend who's made "woe is me" her personal motto for life. And, that possessive friend that hates it when you spend time with other friends. What’s up with that???? Dumb!

After becoming a Widow, I have read many inspirational books whenever I felt the need for a good dose of "feel good" thoughts.  The libraries allow you to hold onto that book longer than they used to and you can make this request online now if you decide you need two more weeks!  Cool Beans!

As a matter of fact just recently, a dear classmate, friend recently recommended a great book titled “The Last Time I Saw You” ~ by Elizabeth Berg ~ Recommending a book to read came at the right time while I'm still nursing my injured knee from my fall and waiting for it to mend.   It is a novel about women and men reconnecting with one another—and themselves—at their 40th high school reunion.

My gym has turned my life around. I don’t just do boring machine routines. Different exercise classes makes me enjoy exercising! It is also nice meeting new friends at the gym. A variety of friends is a good thing.  Well, right now, my injured knee has put my gym classes on hold until I mend.

(Mama was right - you do become the people you hang around with ) Good friends are very important to have in your life.

A good life starts with good thoughts.



Practice Mindfulness!

I recently fell in my house! I was on my way out the door and went back inside to make sure I turned off my curling iron.

It is always off but for some reason, I have to double check every time. Well, I slipped and fell and took a Dixie on my shiny, hard, tiled floors in the hallway and came down real hard on my right knee! Ouch! 

 

I was in a hurry to get o my Pedicure Appointment that I have been looking forward to since I received a gift certificate for my birthday at the beginning of the month from a dear friend for this Pedi at Susanne’s, so I was anxious to be on time. I’m always on time no matter where I go so there was no reason to be in a hurry in the first place.

Well, it hurt lifting my foot from the gas pedal to the brake pedal while driving to my destination. When I got there, I went in the back room to pull down my jeans to see the damage….Ugh. Nasty, swollen, red, skin peeling……….Ouch!

Suzanne only has a small tiny fridge and only had cans of “Coke” to apply to my knee. Thank goodness only all girls were there as I sat in my bloomers with a towel wrapped around me from the waist down! Not a pretty sight!  Jeans are too tight to roll up above the knee so they had to come off so I could feel the cold from the cans of Coke.  Oh my.........LOL

My toenails sure look pretty but I was in great discomfort. The two glasses of wine helped! I couldn’t wait to get home and apply ice to my knee.

LG, I’ll remember that you declined to buy a bag of frozen peas for my injury because it was a $1.69 for such a small bag! Hehehhehe

I called my doctor the following morning and she reminded me that I have to practice mindfulness, as many trips and falls happen when we’re in a hurry or not thinking about what we’re doing.

She told me to practice focusing all of my attention on what I’m doing when walking and watch where I place my feet and to pay attention to the journey and avoid thinking about the destination…..even if you are only walking from the bedroom to the kitchen.

Same applies when outside, watch for tree roots, uneven pavement, garbage, slippery leaves, fallen branches, etc.

Yikes, I got the talk! The talk given to most older seniors!...Sigh!

Government Monopoly!

Our Society continues to get worse!

I have learned throughout the years to never talk about politics, religion, etc. because it only opens up an venue for a heated argument with others, as we all have different views and opinions but lately, even if I try to avoid the News on TV, it is boldly hitting me on my Welcome screen on my computer the first thing in the morning.

I know now why my insomnia continues to get worse; it is because I stay awake to watch the 11:00 PM News filled with senseless tragedies like the most recent shootings in Arizona. It leaves my mind filled with horror and rents space in my head for days because of all the updates that follow on our daily News.

So, they lock up the crazy 22 year old and the taxpayers have to pay some 20 odd years for him to be in prison. I find something wrong with this theory.

What a waste of money for all these prisoners that are eating free, a roof over their heads free, free water, free gyms, free education, free representation. Makes me sick especially to the ones that killed innocent people.

Then we have to hear all about the local politicians who point fingers of disdain at corrupt public officials yet the people continue to elect them over and over again.

We need to become a civilized society again. We have to have the ability to disagree without being disagreeable.

We are an intelligent bunch, I’m sure the politicians can meet on common ground. We don’t have any other options, yet we have these stubborn idiots that get paid well, fly on private jets, have the best healthcare and even get free expensive haircuts on our dime! Hmmmmmmmm! Sounds like they get special treatment like the prisoners!  Why do we treat prisoners and politicians like royalty?

 

Frazzled!

I learned to recognize that things are what they are, regardless of perceptions. I have to accept things as they are and not as I want them to be but I’m stubborn and I find it hard to accept certain things “just the way they are”. Strange, sometimes we welcome change and other times change takes us out of our comfort zone.

I try to check-in with myself now and then to see if these perspectives are working for me. I recently checked in my own radar system and said to myself…. I will never be alone on Christmas ever again. As I get older, I have to learn to gain greater inner control and smooth out the rocky road of life!

We have all heard Financial Planners on TV such as Suzie Orman say: Pay yourself first. Well, I think this theory applies to other things such as: Be good to yourself, trust yourself, know what you want and need. Put yourself first! I need to let my feelings be known. My feelings are important.

My girlfriend and I were discussing “feeling important” not that long ago.

Every time I need something, I talk myself out of it. Even if I can’t have it, it’s ok to need. Where there’s a will, there’s a way!  We both agreed that we have to transform frustration into an achievement.

Then I learned to get some perspective and step back and look objectively at the reasons why I get frustrated. I zeroed in and focused seriously on this matter and came to the conclusion that I don’t feel important.

Perhaps the distance between me and my family due to living in different states is the cause…….you know “out of sight, out of mind”. I was dwelling on the closeness I had for years yet now seems to be vanishing away and it scares me the older I get.

I know my frustrations were telling me something. I just had to find it and bring it to life and express my feelings. My mind was all over the map jumping from one issue to another. Gosh, I was a total mess over Christmas all because I was alone. It is terrible to be alone for Christmas. I come from a very large family and I was never alone. 

So, with nothing to do that day, as all my friends were jetsetting to visit their family, it only made me dwell on my “To Do” List and that most things on that list I don’t know how to do!  Sometimes, things just become overwhelming for an older women to do things around the house and handle repairs and make decisions and then try to figure out how the hell am I going to pay for this????

I was a little upset with myself because when I was younger, I was able to handle these matters that pop up but the older I get, I get the crazies trying to methodically find the right contractor, or can just a handyman take care of these freaking issues.

I remember when I was able to paint, wallpaper and dance around a 6’ ladder with ease. Well, I fell off of that freaking ladder not once but twice so NO MORE ladders for me so hence, no can do repairs nor do I want to do them either! Enough of this, when does it ever end?

They say: Life is what you make it. No one is responsible for your happiness, sadness or success. No one but you. Yes, you! We all have to take complete responsibility for ourselves and our choices we make are the ones that the allows us all to take that journey toward personal fulfillment.

I am well aware that accepting responsibility without excuses, frees your power to achieve. I know I'm responsible for my own wellbeing footprint!  But no one told me it all becomes more difficult to do all this stuff when you are alone and older!

OK….that venting felt good for a while! Oh the stress!  This rocky road has so many obstacles to climb.

Oh, and I won’t even discuss the new computer issues and troubleshooting, reading and more reading. Researching and more researching. I’m exhausted….where is that bottle of wine?

Whereas, Windows 7 has some nice features but I really liked my XP, it also seemed faster.