June 12, 2008


Forgiving is not the same as Forgetting! The act that hurt you may always remain a part of your life. But forgiveness can lessen its tight grip on you and help you focus on other positive parts of your life instead of dwelling on the negative.

Forgiveness also doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act.

Just about everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your friend gossiped about you or your mother or father criticized you or your spouse or significant other cheated on you or your boss is a relentless cruel person. The pain leaves with you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and then by your own choosing…………you become unforgiving.

If you don't practice forgiveness, you may be the one who pays the price most dearly. I recall the priest saying those exact words during a sermon one Sunday. I also read an article on the topic of forgiving written by a doctor of the Mayo Clinic. I read a lot of medical articles when I was working in the medical field for several years. A lot of information remained in my memory bank. And, if you think about it…..it is all common sense. You don’t need a doctor or a priest to preach this to you.

The people most likely to hurt us are those closest to us. When we're hurt by someone we love and trust — whether it's a lie, betrayal, rejection, abuse or insult — it can be extremely difficult to forget. And even minor offenses can turn into huge conflicts.

I realized that forgiveness begins with your decision to forgive, but because memories oranother set of words or actions may trigger old feelings, I find I need to recommit to forgiveness over and over again.

Hoping that the other person will change their actions, behavior or words isn't the point of forgiveness. In fact, the other person may never change or apologize. I learned that forgiveness is more about how it will change my life by bringing me more peace, happiness, and emotional healing.

I’m 63 years old and I’m not perfect, no one is. But I do accept myself despite of my faults. I admit my mistakes. I believe in treating others with compassion and respect has always been my motto.

I recall when my children were young and still in school; when they brought home their report cards, I always looked at the right hand side of the report card first….the section where they were graded on their behavior and attitude…..then I looked at all their grades listed on the left hand side. Their behavior reflected on what I taught them. Their grades reflected on what the teacher taught them and how well they learned and studied in order to receive a good grade.

I'm a basically kind person with a sense of balance and boundaries. However, I'm no Mother Theresa!

I love my family and they come before everyone!

Blame it on the rain


  1. Very good entry Rose. Helen

  2. Your entry was very well written. I need to not only learn to forgive and let go of things that people have done to me but also to forgive myself for some of the stupid things that I have done. I can be very hard on myself most of all. ....Christine

  3. what a wonderful entry!  so true.

  4. This was a wonderful entry, just what I needed to read.

  5. one of the best entries   i have read          anywhere          so  true.  take care  mort

  6. As a former Hospics LPN, I have seem first hand the damage that unforgivness and bitterness can do to a soul.
    We must learn to forgive and give it to the One that can heal our broken hearts and souls.

  7. I understand exactly what you are saying. My husband of 24yrs betrayed me with someone else while I thought he was away fighting for our country and ended up moving this person to our hometown. It's a long story, but people don't understand how I can even stand to be around him any longer or for that matter now see him with her, but I refuse to let them hurt me any longer. It has taken me two years to get to this point and has been a rough road to haul, but I have no more tears and I know that he will never say he is sorry for what he has done by tearing our family apart, not just hurting me, but our children, but I do forgive him, but you're right I will never forget. It is a struggle daily for me when I see our grandchild that should have both his grandparents, but now only has me because his grandfather is to busy to bother with him. I enjoyed reading this entry.
    Take care, Chrissie - MTC

  8. Thanks for the mention and congrats on being editor of the week!