On a Scale from 1 to 10!
What am I without a man? We Widows for some reason place ourselves on the negative side of the ledger if we are without a man. In my Widow’s Group, if someone is dating or getting married, the congratulations are glowing.
When we were young, we were taught to be wives and mothers, we were not taught or prepared to be Widows.
I think congratulations are equally in order when a Widow writes out her first check and makes her first major decision all by herself to buy a high ticket item. I recall how I felt the first time I went to the movies all by myself or ate in a restaurant alone. I realized that I can appreciate my own company and most importantly, I can realize the difference between loneliness and solitude. I won’t lie; there will be many boring long days and nights. But, think about it, you can have those feelings when there is someone in your life too sometimes!
I loved being married and being a couple. It was wonderful but then again marriage is not for everyone either. Being a couple is not necessarily better than living alone and without a man in your life.
A woman can be celibate without sacrificing her sexuality and sexual without compromising her independence. It is wonderful to have good friends in your life. Actually, it is very important to have family and good friends to share fun days with.
We are all survivors when we go from widowhood to selfhood. I didn’t say it was easy, as it came with a great deal of coping and overcoming. You may not even recognize yourself after you experienced the long hard journey filled with fears and tears. We all still have good days and bad days, however, no matter how many years have gone by; acceptance is the key in order to go forward with you life.
Sometimes, I feel because a woman is alone, others take advantage and challenge you and put you in uncomfortable situations on purpose or take advantage of your time and kindness because they must think you must have so much time on your hands. That recently happened to me this past week and I didn’t appreciate being used that way.
I’m grateful that I have a good friend that brought to my attention that it is o.k. not to feel guilty about such things and to stop others from taking advantage of my time. Thank you dear friend, you know who you are.
My comfort zone feels safe again and relaxing. It takes a great courage to do what is unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Your self esteem rises along with your self confidence.
We all fear the new and find comfort in the stability in what we know is familiar. So, having to cope with all the unknowns, I think I’m doing o.k.
So, I think I am a 10 without a man!