December 16, 2009

Remember what your mother told you--choose your friends wisely!

Ahhh, to be young and naive again!

Life has a way of throwing us off course. I may not have a "Tiger Woods" for a husband (thank God) who not only cheats with low-life scanks but embarrassed and hurt his wife to no end and I personally see no future for his marriage. But, I have certainly been dealt my fair share of challenges – So if some women look like they tend to be happier than others because they have better husbands, bigger homes, or larger bank accounts? And, if widowed or divorced, are they provided for better than you? The answer is no. So, what looks like the good life is not always happiness there. Money can only bring you a certain amount of happiness.

We all have the power to think positive and the ability to recognize our own blessings! I love quotes and I like this one - Abraham Lincoln said it best in his famous quote, “People are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” The world is filled with two kinds of people—those who are positively charged and those who allow many unmentionable little dilemmas in between causing a dark cloud over their heads. It's all about choosing wisely.

Do you remember when you were young, your mother telling you to choose your friends wisely? If you hung around with the wrong crowd, you always got into trouble. Ain't that the truth because who you hung out with made you look good - or bad - depending on the crowd. Now it appears the same advice applies to connections you make on networking sites like LinkedIn and Facebook. Facebook isn’t a race to see who can get the most friends. In fact, the more “friends” you have, the less likely it is that you will be able to have meaningful chats with.

Oh my, the World Wide Web we weave with new technology and social networks definitely have a huge effect on our attitudes including how we perceive ourselves. It's hard to feel good about yourself if you are choosing people to hang out with that are not confident about themselves. I was raised, and I spent most of my life believing that somehow I was magically confident enough to live with a positive attitude and try to complain little and that your neighbors should never know your family business.

Old fashioned Italian families believe that your personal problems are to be kept to yourself. Then as you get older, you find sharing your most inner secrets with your best friend with an understanding that she would not tell another sole. Then we were told to let out your feelings and don't keep it bottled up inside causing major stress. Wow, talk about ups and downs.......what is right.......what is wrong......loosen up and give yourself a reality check.

We all can't be perfect but we can plan to be better. You do not have to be everyone’s friend. Choose to be friends with people who build you up, not tear you down. Choose friends, who are honest with you and inspire you. Choose friends that welcome you, not alienate and insult you and this applies to co-workers too. Some co-workers can be back stabbers…….now why is that? People spend a 8 hour day with these co-workers that you automatically consider them friends and for some, an extension of your family until one hurts you. Good friends don’t hurt you.

Most friendships are started because of some common thread – a love of books, an appreciation of fine wine, and an insufferable boss to share stories about. Love girly flicks, shopping for new shoes, enjoy a favorite sport with or check out the local library book sale together next month.
Friends are very important............ just do what your mother told you to do.........choose them wisely!


  1. I belong to a support group. This helps me get my priorites in life on the right track. This group has been my "lifeline" for over two decades!


  2. LOve the 'extras' you add to your Blog. Especially the subtle one what fades in from the back ground.
    A lot of good advice here. I am forwarding it to some family & friends, one of which really needs this advice now.
    Great entry, Of course MY voice sounds like a frog now, but I always sing 'Roses are red my love, violets are blue' every time I come here.
    Love and Merry Christmas
    Sherry & Jack

  3. Love what you've done with the blog. I couldn't agree more on choosing your friends wisely. (Hugs)Indigo

  4. Great entry, I love the info about being positively charged or allowing dilemas to form clouds over their heads :o) You already know I am PC.

    I only have a few true friends, and they have been chosen wisely :o)

  5. A good friend is a blessing. I have a few that I treasure for sure. Your blog looks very nicely decorated for the holidays! Merry Christmas!

  6. "I liked your column/blog....that's the pepper u needed. send me that quote from honest Abe plz."


  7. Nice analysis of happiness, material possessions, and mother's advice!

  8. My mum often said the reason it to me so long to make friends was because I was (and still) raher pickly. I believe that friendship is like marriage; something you shouldn't rush into, but take time to really get to know the person. We are all human and shall fail. And even with the care I'd taken, I have made bad choices. My mother always said friendship is a gift to cherish and honoured, not a right. And thankfully, I married my bestfriend.

  9. Hi Rose,
    You're right ... you can't be too careful!

  10. An excellent essay Rose. I think it's the network of friendship, perhaps even more than family, that holds civilization together. I have a friend who has a friend, who has a friend and so on. But one must be careful. There are many things that resemble friendship that aren't. "Trust a few" as Sakespeare said.


  11. I'm far behind in reading blogs. Have a good night!