Prince Charming!

Could Cinderella have been happy if she had never met Prince Charming?  Hmmm!  I wonder????

All fairytale princesses found happiness with a "Prince Charming".  Think about all your love stories and phrases like the classic Jerry Maguire "you complete me"!  I have the Jerry Maguire DVD and have viewed the movie a couple of times....and the words "you complete me" rented space in my head ever since.

With so many online dating services and TV's reality shows about the bachelor/bachelorette, we are always tuned in thinking about dating, marriage and mating!

Since I have been on a few sides of the track.......I experienced being single, married, divorced, remarried and now widowed and single again in my 60's.  I found that society is always questioning dating methods, being single, being a couple.... or having a sole mate or being a single parent and finding a sense of family or dealing with sexuality. 

Yet many people trade in their partner for whatever romance lies behind door number three — usually someone with exactly the same inner workings as the person they left behind, different packaging on the outside but same emotional map within. I have to believe life would be easier, cheaper and happier if we could make it work in round one.

When Tom Cruise uttered those memorable words to Renee Zellweger in “Jerry Maguire,” he summed up all the romantic dreams so many of us have for love. We all want that perfect person who completes us, that amazing individual who understands us,  whose mere presence makes us feel like we are on top of the world!  But how many of us find our "Prince Charming" in round one?

I think happy single men and women no matter their age have made a home that nurtures, most have satisfying jobs, financially secured, satisfaction with sexuality, have a connection with the next generation, a close network of friends and a sense of conformity with their lives.

Most families today are nontraditional families and nontraditional living environments can be just as fulfilling as traditional ones.

We ladies always had dreams of our "Prince Charming" because we read too many fairytales and saw too many Walt Disney flicks between Cinderella and Snow White.  While many of us ladies still like a good fairytale that begin with "Once upon a time", most of us are well aware of the realities of relationships and choose to make our own "happily ever afters".

The Prince Charming title has often been applied to male characters or to real men who seem to possess all the qualities that would make women fall in love with them.  However, in the modern world of today, many women would claim they do not need a "Prince Charming" and don't need to be "rescued."  Many feminist critics believe that the "Prince Charming" ideal is unrealistic and reverts many women to "damsels in distress" who need to be rescued.

Love is love and it is wonderful!  And, it hurts when you lose your loved one, so whether you want to call your love, Prince Charming or Cinderella...........just enjoy your life and the people you love every day.  Life is short and precious so make good use of it.

I have had a few glass slippers in my day!  I personally liked feeling like "Cinderella" and I loved couplehood.  My acceptance of singlehood is only by default.

Til this day, when I'm out at night.......I don't want to go home until the clock strikes Cinderella time!   LOL

Life isn't always a shoe full of cherries! (For you, it's a bowl, for me, it's shoes)!

"People love others not for who they are but for how they make them feel" 
                                               ~ Irwin Federman~

Forgiving!

Forgiving is not the same as Forgetting! The act that hurt you may always remain a part of your life. But forgiveness can lessen its tight grip on you and help you focus on other positive parts of your life instead of dwelling on the negative.

Forgiveness also doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act.

Just about everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your friend gossiped about you or your mother or father criticized you or your spouse or significant other cheated on you or your boss is a relentless cruel person. The pain leaves with you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and then by your own choosing…………you become unforgiving.

If you don't practice forgiveness, you may be the one who pays the price most dearly. I recall the priest saying those exact words during a sermon one Sunday. I also read an article on the topic of forgiving written by a doctor of the Mayo Clinic. I read a lot of medical articles when I was working in the medical field for several years. A lot of information remained in my memory bank. And, if you think about it…..it is all common sense. You don’t need a doctor or a priest to preach this to you.

The people most likely to hurt us are those closest to us. When we're hurt by someone we love and trust — whether it's a lie, betrayal, rejection, abuse or insult — it can be extremely difficult to forget. And even minor offenses can turn into huge conflicts.

I realized that forgiveness begins with your decision to forgive, but because memories oranother set of words or actions may trigger old feelings, I find I need to recommit to forgiveness over and over again.

Hoping that the other person will change their actions, behavior or words isn't the point of forgiveness. In fact, the other person may never change or apologize. I learned that forgiveness is more about how it will change my life by bringing me more peace, happiness, and emotional healing.

I’m 63 years old and I’m not perfect, no one is. But I do accept myself despite of my faults. I admit my mistakes. I believe in treating others with compassion and respect has always been my motto.

I recall when my children were young and still in school; when they brought home their report cards, I always looked at the right hand side of the report card first….the section where they were graded on their behavior and attitude…..then I looked at all their grades listed on the left hand side. Their behavior reflected on what I taught them. Their grades reflected on what the teacher taught them and how well they learned and studied in order to receive a good grade.

I'm a basically kind person with a sense of balance and boundaries. However, I'm no Mother Theresa!

I love my family and they come before everyone!

Sex and the City Review!

The dialogue was sharp and precise, even to an audience that is now used to women characters talking very frank about sex, it may no longer seem so shocking.

I loved the part when the girls were talking about sex in front of a child, referring to the act as “coloring”.   How often did Miranda do coloring?   Not nearly enough.  Samantha, the sex goddess single of all the older women, of course, she liked to use all the crayons in her box, while Carrie said that when Big colored “he doesn't always stay inside the lines.” (this part was already on TV promoting the movie so I don't feel like I'm giving anything away)

I was disappointed to read reviews that gave away the entire show.  Fortunately, I viewed the reviews the following morning after I saw the movie.  That was not fair to viewers and die hard fans like myself.  I think it was o.k. to chat about the clips showed on TV but don't go further than that.....

Who wants to see a movie when the plot is already on the computers before you even buy your ticket!

I wept and cheered along with the other women in the audience.  I loved all the beautiful clothes and shoes.  It was like Saks Fifth Avenue/Neiman Marcus catalogs on steroids!  I was also surprised to see so many men in the audience.  I'm sure they were pacifying their ladies but I heard comments that they really enjoyed the flick.  It was not just a girly show.....men would enjoy it too.

I loved, loved the movie.  I love, love Mr. Big!  I loved all of Carrie's outrageous outfits and shoes.  You can only get away dressing like that in New York!  LOL

 

 

 

 

Tags: Sex and the City

Envy

 

Are you still hoping for that winning Lottery ticket?

 

I couldn't help but notice how some people are so jealous and envious of others that maybe richer than they are.  Friends, one rich, one not.  One dines on caviar, the other cereal.  For years, everyone experiences similar things such as:  housing, meals, classes, hangovers....you even shared the same tax bracket. 

 

Ever think that maybe the result of the professions you chose, the families you came from, the people you married, dumb luck, bad luck or all the above.....all relates to whether you are eating caviar or cereal.

 

I have a friend that obsesses over another friend's net worth...what envy!  But one things seems pretty clear to me is that whether you're feeling envious or envied, you either have to make your peace with the divide or risk drifting apart from each other.

 

I think more often, though, it's about a sense of loss or remorse about choices you didn't make or potential you didn't realize.  Maybe, the person you envy represents the kind of ideal you haven't lived up to.  Money definitely changes your choices about how you live, the company you keep and the work you seek.  It also changes people's expectations of you and may change the way they behave towards you. 

 

See, the knowledge you gain when you get older!  So, while you're busy wondering how great it must be to make an outsized salary, own a beach house or jet off to Italy at the last minute, your friend may be envying you for having a balanced life, complete with a job, time to spend with friends, a great partner and kids.  Yes, you are lucky!  I feel lucky!

 

Okay, you are right, it is great to have a ton of money, cool down at the beach house and take last-minute jaunts to Europe.  But, envy is the ultimate wet blanket.  I always appreciate what I do have and made peace with the fact that someone else will always have more....so what....

 

I guess I got on a roll of "envy" from a comment a friend recently made to me......she is constantly wishing she would meet a rich, famous, wonderful man to change her life so she can eat caviar!  Good luck waiting for that dream to come true........sometimes people don't realize how lucky they are.  So take a broom to your envy and sweep it away!  Such a waste of energy......

 

Wow, sometimes things that people say to me.....rent space in my head....I guess that's what gives me things to write about.

 

 

Tags: Envy, Jealous

Say it with Color!

My daughter took these amazing pictures!

 

Tags: Boston

Why do people get depressed?

When you are depressed, oh my, it just clouds everything. The world looks baron and your thoughts turn into negative feelings of hopelessness. The negative and self-critical thoughts are haunting.  The incidents that caused your depression are imbedded in your head and you repeat verbatim the words and anger over and over not allowing the mind to rest.

I'm constantly feeling tired all the time and difficulty falling asleep, gaining weight too.  Depression affects people of every color, race, economic status, or age; however, it does seem to affect more people as they get older. 

My doctor diagnosed my depression which doctor's refer to as an adjustment disorder with depressed mood. That was seven years ago when my husband passed away..............and all those same feelings are now returning to haunt me but triggered off over another issue and family related.  The doctor explained that this particular diagnosis refers to depressive reactions to a specific life events (such as a death, divorce, or other loss or painful family issues), when adjusting to the loss takes longer than the normally expected timeframe or is more severe than expected and interferes with the person's daily activities.

When family members shows disrespect, it hurts and hurts bad and can cause major sadness leading to depression.  A negative, stressful, or unhappy family atmosphere can affect your self-esteem and lead to depression.  This, I consider a high-stress level.

Some people don't really understand about depression. For example, they may react to a depressed person's low energy with criticism, yelling and cursing at the person certainly does not help. Some people think that depression is just an attitude or a mood that a person can just make disappear.  Not so.

It was explained to me by my doctor that depression is different than sadness.  Everyone has some ups and downs, and sadness is a natural emotion. The normal stresses of life can lead anyone to feel sad every once in a while since life is not just a bowl of cherries!

Depression is more than feeling down in the dumps, it is a strong mood involving sadness and despair that lasts for weeks and weeks and sometimes even longer.  It interferes with your ability to participate in normal activities.

I try to reap the benefits from mood-boosting activities like exercise, yoga, dance, and especially journaling. It helps to keep busy no matter how tired you feel.  Exercising in my pool helps me a great deal.  My mind does not wander and I'm concentrating on my aqua aerobics and for a short time during the day, it seems to help.  I have not mastered the art of meditation because I can't sit still long enough and my mind cannot hold the concentration needed to meditate.  My girlfriend gave me a CD to listen to help calm my nerves but that doesn't seem to help either.

My panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you feel like you are having a having a heart attack or even dying.  Oh my......why is all this happening?  I thought I had a loving family!  Yes, I'm sad and needed to write in my journal to help release the pain.  I love my children more than I love taking my next breathe.  Mother's Day was always so special and even more exciting than Christmas for me.  Can children just stop loving their mother?  To think, I used to boast that I had the best children in the world because I taught them "Respect".  So....what happened???????????????  They are grown adults and know better.

 

I'm grateful for my caring friends, you all know who you are .......you care that my well being is important to you ......that makes me feel special.  Thank you!

Tags: Depression

Aren't Old Friends Just The BEST!

We have all made new friends since graduating high school, but we have stood the test of time after seeing each other 46 years later for a wonderful luncheon.  It first started to be a lunch for three with me flying up from Florida and Sal and Carolyn driving up from CT.....and turned into so much more to my shocking surprise!

Oh the stories.......we were all renewing our youth.  One would remember something that another forgot, our new friends are great but aren't our old friends just the best!  I find that true friendships never ever decay.....we just may turn a little gray!  LOL  I'm starting to rhyme here! ha ha ha 

Yeah, Boston still rocks for me!

We were all connected by emotions from childhood onto High School and then onto adulthood.  We have all gone our separate ways and started our own families and for many, moved out of state and the years just past so quickly.

I think we will always continue our forever friendship.  The world does not seem so lonely and empty when you get older and widowed like me, just knowing you have so many special friends in your life who genuinely care about you is Priceless!

I missed our past 45th Class Reunion because I live out of state and still working at the time and my grumpy boss would not allow me the time off to attend.  Now, I truly understand everyone's comments on how they didn't want the day to end.  That is how I felt with this wonderful luncheon.......simply just didn't want the day to end.  And, lovely Meri invited us all to her house after lunch at the Continental and the reminiscing went on and on.  Jeanine was wonderful to bring her scrapbook of memories from grammar school.  Sal and his lovely wife, Carolyn also brought their wedding album and his yearbook for us to sign again!  Well, I missed signing it in 1962 but had the privilege to sign it 46 years later!

Scotty traveling all the way from Maine to attend the event.  What a surprise to see Peter........never knew you were a ballroom dancer!  Can't wait to glide across the dance floor with you during my next trip to Boston!

You know what I think is so special?..............I don't hear too many other people raving about their classmate friends like we do...........we really love our friends.  What a great feeling that is.

I'm closing this entry with the ABC Friendship Poem:  
(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plain things you don'tunderstand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality

Since I'm still in Boston and not on my personal home computer, I can't add my graphics and animations but I had to jot down my thoughts and feelings as three weeks later, my memory may fade....not of the special day but of certain words I wanted to convey to all that were there for our special lunch!

So, I will remind you to take another peak at my Journal when I return to Florida.  I will then create a nice photo album as well.

Thanks to all of you for the memories!

With Affection, Rose

 

Tags: Best Friends

Boston Rocks!

Tags: Boston Rocks

What is a lifestyle anyway?

I'm still trying to adjust to the "retired" lifestyle. 

My favorite part is that I don't have to set that #$%^&* alarm clock anymore!  Some days are boring, I will not deny that but then again, I was bored when I was working too!  My evenings and weekends are still the same.  I guess living alone alters your way of life. 

 I keep telling myself that I need to get out more but I really got so tired of the nightclub scenes, it just lost all of its glitter from years ago! 

Well, what is a lifestyle anyway?  A lifestyle is the way a person lives. This includes patterns of social relations, consumption, entertainment, and how you dress. A lifestyle typically also reflects an individual's attitude and values.

We all have a bundle of behaviors that makes sense to both others and to ourself in different times and places.   My lifestyle has changed from let's say 20 years ago....what was important to me then is not so important to me now.  I used to be a "Material" girl..............don't get me wrong, I still like nice things but it's not top priority now for some reason.

Wish the schools had classes in investment when we were younger.  Yeah, they taught us how to open up a bank account and a checking account but it stopped there.  Remember the booklet of "green" stamps?

You need money for retirement and people take the subject lightly.  Save as much as you can and pass up that "Material" thing that you were thinking about purchasing and a week from now no longer interests you.

We all buy things we don't need.  All I have to do is look in my closet and see price tags dangling down from a blouse or some article of clothing hanging there for many, many months after the date of purchase...........dah!  I obviously didn't need it just because it was on sale doesn't warrant the reason to purchase and that money could have gone into my piggy bank or put towards a Certificate of Deposit.  I envy the people in my age group that realized this long before I did.

We all need to enjoy our life with some guilty pleasures and purchases but now I think twice before taking the plastic out of my wallet because of my new limited budget.............retirement does come with some adjustments.....that Social Security check does not go very far!

 

I suppose I could look into a part time job for extra spending money but right now, like I previously said........I love not having to set that alarm clock!  With my severe insomnia, I'm not panicking anymore when I only got about one hour of sleep because I don't have to hear the alarm go off and rush to work.

 

I think if you live a decent lifestyle and you are a good person, your life will be richer beyond your bank account. 

 

Tags: lifestyles

WWW = 15

The World Wide Web as we know it celebrates its 15th birthday today. It has changed our way of life beyond recognition. What changed when the Internet came into your life?

I received this assignment from Magic Smoke this morning and thought the topic is certainly one I would want to participate in.

The WWW allows me to reach all the destinations of life with a click of the mouse whether for work or play. Oh my, let me count the ways of how the Internet personally changed my life:

1. Research is an information highway!

2. Sending a greeting card to a friend no longer requires running to the local card shop.

3. Paying bills online and saving on stamps!

4. I'm learning more about graphics and animations to entertain my family and friends and myself as well. My WWW faceless friends taught me how to do this. Thank you to all of them.

5. Creating photo albums online and sharing with people that mean a lot to me.

6. You can even get a education and a degree online and job search! Now, that's amazing!

7. Cyberspace is also a hot and happening place for online dating.

8. I cherish my good morning emails from my daughter every morning.

9. I cherish my weekly emails from my son.

10. I even found a long lost childhood friend after 45 years online. That was a very special moment for me after years of searching for her. I found my dear friend on the WWW. We now chat online everyday! We were totally shocked that we both have been living in the State of Florida for the past 20 years but on different Coasts! We are both originally from New England. We also had the opportunity to visit with one another and will be seeing each other again soon. It doesn't get much better than that!

11. I even renew my prescriptions online as I hate any telephone automated system.

12. Online shopping is always a convenience and a savings on the high price of gas these days!

I can go on and on how the Internet changed my life but I would be here all day long because my list would be never ending!

I was reluctant to create a Journal online but now I find it entertaining and informational and also enlightening. But the best part of an online Journal is that you have a bunch of all new faceless online friends and would not be able to do this if we didn't have the WWW. It allows others to look at your thoughts and follow your topics and then add comments and perspectives on what you've written about.

I did get one negative response from an acquaintance as recently as last night. I received an IM and the individual asked me "why are you doing this blogging thing...what is wrong with a simple email?" She also said it was too much reading for her. Well, my response to that is "You don't have to read my blogs" simple as that! It's not mandatory for anyone to read it if they choose not to.

Sometimes, I send reminders to my family and friends if I made a new entry and I must have clicked on this person's email address who is normally not on my regular list but I will keep a mental note not to include her email address for "Reminders". Everyone is entitled to their opinions and there is always the "Delete" button!

The Internet is fascinating to say the least! I find many ways and reasons to contact someone across the miles in a special way:

Tags: WWW

Beauty Salon Gossip

Beauty Salon gossip is one of the oldest and still the most common means of spreading and sharing various information and views. Oh my, the topics of conversation are not only just on beauty topics either! Some gals can get right down and raunchy with their personal stories! Certainly, a day at the beauty shop is very entertaining to say the least, many, many chuckles as well. I also love the shops that serve wine! Whoo-hoo! When the ladies are a bit tanked……..you would not believe what comes out of their mouths! LOL

We women have performed many strange rituals and experienced much pain and spent mucho dollars to look young. It’s a paycheck alone at the beauty shop just for your color, cut and blow dry. Then the manicures and pedicures is another added expense.

Hey, guys…………you just have to get a good haircut and shave! Wow, think of all the money you guys are saving and you men look gorgeous when your hair turns gray! Unfortunately, it doesn’t work the same for women!

I remember years ago, I used cucumbers on my eyes to relieve the puffiness and Preparation H cream that is marketed to treat hemorrhoids used under the eye to reduce the bags and dark circles after a late night out. But the beauty babes of today are going to extremes to look younger than their years.

Gosh, now the women are actually using food poisoning injections to freeze their face and wrinkles…that’s a bit scary for me and trust me, I would love to look younger just like the next gal but I do know some ladies that have used Botox and get these injections over and over.......After so many treatments, it looks so awful and unnatural. Their lips move when they talk and their whole face looks frozen! That does not make them look younger; it makes them look like freaks in my opinion. They lost their personal facial expressions which is what makes a person look unique!

Caution ladies, I recently read an article about Botox and it claimed new research points to evidence that Botox may make a beeline from the injection site to the brain. Yikes! That means Botox may affect what's going on up in your head.........wow...that is nothing to smile about and certainly not making you look younger now is it?????

One woman in the Beauty Salon said she has been drinking Donkey Milk! I never even knew donkey’s produced milk????? Yikes! Where would you buy Donkey Milk? Wow! I think I was on the floor rolling over laughing my head off after that statement! She said she also uses Pepto-Bismol as a facial mask. Now, I would give that a try but I have super sensitive skin and would be afraid I would break out in a heart beat!

I guess women that can’t afford the Hollywood lifestyle search for thrifty treatments that you can find in your medicine cabinet or kitchen cupboards to work miracles on their face!

Well, I have a sister-in-law that used to use the cake form of yeast and whisk it with Ponds facial cream and she has beautiful skin………..go figure…..we all know what yeast does to bread dough! I guess it must plump up the skin and wrinkles be gone! LOL I haven’t tried that either due to my very sensitive skin. But, I would try that well before Botox any day.

The only gossip I could contribute was spreading the news that I love my new purchase (H20 Steam Mop). All my friends are now buying it just by my reviews…..loving it. I think the damn company should give me a commission for every person I referred this product to! Word of mouth is the best form of advertising as they say!

I put my two cents in and expressed that I prefer to age gracefully by eating healthy, exercising and wearing SPANX! There I go again…advertising for another product! However, I do believe in moisturizers….moisturize, moisturize, moisturize!

I know some of my girlfriends have their hair colorist on their speed dial and one who has her plastic surgeon on hers……………So, who is on your speed dial?

Tags: Beauty Shop gossip

I Believe

A friend recently sent me an email and the title was "I Believe".

I thought it would be interesting to email all my friends and ask them to send me what they believe and incorporate both; a few from the email and all of my friends beliefs. I told them I would keep their thoughts anonymous........so here goes:

I believe - A birth certificate shows that we were born; a death certificate shows that we died; pictures show that we lived!

I believe - That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe - That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe - That true friendship continues to grow.

I believe - That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe - That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe - God never gives you more than you can handle.

I believe - You should work hard but play harder.

I believe - You get what you give.

I believe - What goes around comes around.

I believe - that everyone that can should own a dog - they truly are a person's best friend.

I believe - If a person is cruel and mistreats animals, they will also mistreat humans.

I believe - The state of joy enables you to stop worrying.

I believe - You should set goals and commit yourself to them.

I believe - People interpret words and actions differently. We may look at the same picture and see different things.

I believe - If your attitude is in the toilet, you have no chance for success and happiness.

I believe - That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I believe - That we should all be responsible for our actions.

I believe - That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe - That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will surprise you because they will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe - I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe - That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world
doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe - That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe - Two people can look at the exact same thing and see
something totally different.

I believe - That your life can be changed in a matter of hours.

I believe - That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe - That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I believe - The happiest people don't necessarily have the
best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

I believe - You should be a good provider for your family.

I believe - We should do something nice for a total stranger every day.

I believe - One of the most powerful personal development tool is simply to keep a personal journal.

What do you believe?

Thank you to all my family and friends for participating.