When you are depressed, oh my, it just clouds everything. The world looks baron and your thoughts turn into negative feelings of hopelessness. The negative and self-critical thoughts are haunting. The incidents that caused your depression are imbedded in your head and you repeat verbatim the words and anger over and over not allowing the mind to rest.
I'm constantly feeling tired all the time and difficulty falling asleep, gaining weight too. Depression affects people of every color, race, economic status, or age; however, it does seem to affect more people as they get older.
My doctor diagnosed my depression which doctor's refer to as an adjustment disorder with depressed mood. That was seven years ago when my husband passed away..............and all those same feelings are now returning to haunt me but triggered off over another issue and family related. The doctor explained that this particular diagnosis refers to depressive reactions to a specific life events (such as a death, divorce, or other loss or painful family issues), when adjusting to the loss takes longer than the normally expected timeframe or is more severe than expected and interferes with the person's daily activities.
When family members shows disrespect, it hurts and hurts bad and can cause major sadness leading to depression. A negative, stressful, or unhappy family atmosphere can affect your self-esteem and lead to depression. This, I consider a high-stress level.
Some people don't really understand about depression. For example, they may react to a depressed person's low energy with criticism, yelling and cursing at the person certainly does not help. Some people think that depression is just an attitude or a mood that a person can just make disappear. Not so.
It was explained to me by my doctor that depression is different than sadness. Everyone has some ups and downs, and sadness is a natural emotion. The normal stresses of life can lead anyone to feel sad every once in a while since life is not just a bowl of cherries!
Depression is more than feeling down in the dumps, it is a strong mood involving sadness and despair that lasts for weeks and weeks and sometimes even longer. It interferes with your ability to participate in normal activities.
I try to reap the benefits from mood-boosting activities like exercise, yoga, dance, and especially journaling. It helps to keep busy no matter how tired you feel. Exercising in my pool helps me a great deal. My mind does not wander and I'm concentrating on my aqua aerobics and for a short time during the day, it seems to help. I have not mastered the art of meditation because I can't sit still long enough and my mind cannot hold the concentration needed to meditate. My girlfriend gave me a CD to listen to help calm my nerves but that doesn't seem to help either.
My panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you feel like you are having a having a heart attack or even dying. Oh my......why is all this happening? I thought I had a loving family! Yes, I'm sad and needed to write in my journal to help release the pain. I love my children more than I love taking my next breathe. Mother's Day was always so special and even more exciting than Christmas for me. Can children just stop loving their mother? To think, I used to boast that I had the best children in the world because I taught them "Respect". So....what happened??????????????? They are grown adults and know better.
I'm grateful for my caring friends, you all know who you are .......you care that my well being is important to you ......that makes me feel special. Thank you!
Excellent entry, Rose. I see you know a lot about depression. Good thing you posed this entry. It will teach people a lot. I too have suffered from depression, but mostly in the past. It doesn't come around too much anymore. On the other hand, I have to take meds for it. Thank you for sharing, it is a brave thing to do, b/c in this world, there is still some stigma attached. There shouldn't be though, it is just an illness like any other illness. Anyway, got to run to supper, God bless, Krissy :)
ReplyDeleteKrissy :)
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
I read your entry and almost cried. I have severe depression. I feel as if my life isnt even worth living. I am not suicidal but wonder why am I here somedays. I feel as if I am heading for enevidable disaster. I get severe panic attacks as well. You are right. It feels as if I am having a heart attack. I get really scared and think I am dying. I try to talk myself out of it but it doesnt always work. I am on xanax but that makes me more depressed. I have just started seeing a councilor. I cant go on with my life feeling this way. I needed to seek some help. Thank you for your entry. It really helped knowing that somepone out there knows how I feel and what I am going through.....love, Christine
ReplyDelete((Hugs)) I've been where you are my dear friend. I was on meds for a little over two years after I went deaf. Unfortunately I didn't get help until after I had attempted suicide. I was one of the last people I would of imagined to slip so low and simply give up. I still have my days, I bury myself in spending time with my animals, in my garden or simply writing it out of my system. I've found keeping a journal, online and off has made a difference for me. Instead of keeping things bottled up and dealing with them on my own, I push them out onto the page before me.
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know your not alone, and I DO understand exactly what your feeling. On another note, Thank You! for the beautiful graphics you sent my way. (Hugs) Indigo
Hi Rose, This is the first time I have read your journal, I think. This is a very good entry. I came across your name in another journal where you asked about the hit counter. I used to reset mine every few days then got to aggravated at it so I just deleted it off. Now I don't get upset about it LOL. Helen
ReplyDeletevery good entry.
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