Everyone has this beautiful family tree and then all of a sudden one falling leaf forever alters the tree. With families, each relationship has changed us individually and it always has a rippling effect somehow.
Those falling leaves first start most times with our grandparents, then our parents, then our spouses and so on. Then we all become more vulnerable, more sensitive, more confused, angrier and definitely more frightened.Nothing is forever, no one knows that better than the Widow, because suddenly nothing is the same. The drastic change comes with a jolt and a crash………..sort of like an earthquake…….never quite settles back to its original place. Time to make changes in your life even though X amount of years have gone by, it still feels like it was just yesterday.
I’ve always been a very independent person but for some reason getting older takes on a different twist on trying to be that brave person again. I have no clue what happens. All of a sudden children behave like parents and parents behave like children! Ever notice?
Sometimes I start to feel out of balance with the world. I know I’m not the only one that feels this way. I suppose because I’m not the same person I was 20 years ago and things change. Accepting change is the challenge. I also notice the change in my widowed friends……..they are not the same person they used to be, as widowhood alters your life.
Trying to make a new life…….oh my, now that is a super challenge! I don’t know if I want to let someone in my life again, yet I do miss being a couple.
My body is not the same anymore…this really bothers me because I’m uncomfortable with my weight gain. I packed on a few before I stopped smoking but the additional pounds after I stopped smoking……..Oh my….can’t seem to knock those lbs off…….so frustrating! Like I said………Nothing is Forever! But, I’m now challenged to make the change both with my body and mind!
I am trying to age gracefully, but it isn't easy.
ReplyDeleteHi Rose,
ReplyDeleteYou are quite correct nothing is forever....well except maybe taxes. I have not lived in your shoes so I do not know how it is to loses a spouse, but this past month I have almost lost my boyfriend to illness he is finally on the road to recovery thank the Lord. I hope you can find inner happiness and when you are ready to be a couple again that will be up to you. If you are unhappy with your weight just make small changes slowly in your diet and maybe throw in some extra walking. I wish you well.
I don't know if this helps any, but although I've never met you, I can tell from your writing that you are a brave and awesome woman. I'm sure there are times that you don't feel that way, but I think I'm a very good judge of character, so just go with the flow. :)
ReplyDeleteYou also seem to be very open to new possibilities and new pathways, so you never know what may come your way.
Love ya! Beth
Hi Rose,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your latest roses-are-read entry. It does seem with age we become more fragile to the fast paced world around us. I do hope that you meet a nice guy and have a companion to share some of your life with. However, if that doesn't happen I know you will be just fine. I think that even couples get a bit lonely from time to time. Think about all the wonderful and creative things you are doing with your blog and keeping up the Lantern and all the entries and creating albums for all of us who submit articles, art, photos, etc.
Life is like walking the Labyrinth--full of twists and turns, walking toward the Center and then going out to the edges, spinning round and round sometimes we go slow, sometimes fast. It is all part of the mystery and journey of life. Keep writing you are very good at it, but also I think that you have to write. It is what you came here to do, it is your special gift to others and a way of nourishing your higher Self.
Again, thanks for all you do and give yourself a great big HUG.
Leatrice
wonderful post and graphics. I sometimes can't believe how fast my life is going by. It is scary but I try to think of the happy times and not the bad.
ReplyDeleteThe weight gain is a shock to me though, and I can't seem to get it off. I keep hoping they will invent a weight loss pill that really works.
Keep doing your thing, and when you least expect it, you will find the right person to be in your life again :o)
ReplyDeleteHey Rose, nicely stated.Since we are so fortunate still to have each other, we know from reading Roses are Read, and knowing close friends who have lost a mate, we know this will not last forever. I know no one can be prepared, but advice from experience helps.
ReplyDeleteLoved the entry.
Sherry & Jack
PS We were so disappointed the RV Parks we use were FULL as we passed near Boston. We wanted to try out some of the pladces you gave. They are filed with the Mass. And hopefully we wwill be back. Presently back over in New Hampshire.
I have to echo Beth's sentiments. Life is constant flux of change. The only thing we need to figure out is how to deal with the change, with eloquence or defeat. I don't see you as someone who is defeated dear friend. (Hugs)Indigo
ReplyDeletehttp://shatteredprose.blogspot.com/
Sherry & Jack,
ReplyDeleteOh no.....so disappointed you were not able to stop in places in Masachusetts! Bummer!
Hugs, Rose
I enjoyed reading about your feelings about widowhood and cell phones.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
Hugs,
Deby
Hi Rose:
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to understand the loss of a spouse. I know you are a sensitive but strong woman.
You will be ableto deal with the situations God has given you.
Hugs Janice
Continual change is always a challenge, but it's the best option. Each part of my life had it's own ups and downs, but that's just part of the game.
ReplyDeletePersonally, at this stage of the game, my mind and body are like owning a 1955 chevy. It looks ok, runs good, but each time I repair one part, another part breaks down.
Moral: As long as you can make it to your personal AREA 51 each day, have a good time and get home safely, you'll be fine.
Jimmy
Hang in there Rose. I too gained weight this year after my surgery & recovery but as my little angel Hailey sais to me the other day...your still my Essha & thats all that matters. You being you!!!
ReplyDeleteA 7 year old, so as my clothes hang in the closet a bit too tight right now I understand. Im just so proud of you for quitting the ciagrettes. Brava!!!
And yes life is so unexpected & unfair at times. So far from what I thought would be forever I wonder know whats ahead but just yesterday I decided to breath, work on losing the weight & take it once step at a time.
Hopefully your nest post won't be so distant.
Ah, Rose, things changing slow and fast are life's challenges for sure. It doesn't get easier, but it does get more interesting, I think.
ReplyDeleteDB
My parents are becoming my kids the older they get. Does it happen to everyone? LOL
ReplyDeleteHave a good week.
I don't know how it feels to lose a spouse. I just don't know how to reinvent myself at this age. But you seem very brave, and I hope if the time ever comes, that I am brave, too.
ReplyDeleteI have never lost a spouse and really not sure how I would handle the loss. I have heard it is like one foot in front of the other...you just do. You have such a positive attitude..such a wonderful thing to possess. I remember reading somewhere that we are supposed to grow old gracefully. I always thought that I would when I got to be over the hill. Let's put it this way..once I reached the other side..I'm kicking and screaming!!
ReplyDelete