Involuntary Choices!

This Memorial Day weekend left me with nothing to do. I have some friends that are away on vacation and others busy doing the “Couple” thing, so I decided to head out to our new amazing library in Boca. The place is so beautiful and enjoyable to read a good book.

Such a rainy, nasty day out. Normally, I prefer to sit outside in the beautiful patio area of the library but the weather forced me inside. I noticed, many others had the same idea to spend the day at the library and most tables were full in the cafeteria section.

Two nice ladies looked at me with my book in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other and said “Please join us, we have two other chairs here at our table”. I felt a bit uncomfortable but thanked them and sat down. We exchanged our names and where we lived, yatta, yatta.

Since they looked like they were in my age group, it didn’t surprise me that one stated she was also a Widow and the other was Divorced. Sad.

Well, they didn’t seem to feel uncomfortable spilling their personal life and chatting in front of me while I was reading my book which is why I went there in the first place. They kept asking each other “How are you doing”. I used to hate that question because it is a foolish and stupid question to ask a Widow or Divorcee, as the answer to that is already obvious. Plain awful! A squeeze of the hand or a hug from a friend goes far more than stupid questions like “How are you doing”!

The Widow was expressing how lonely she is and her discontent with her four children who all live in other states and lucky if she receives a couple of phone calls a week from any of them. Hmmmmmmmmm I was thinking to myself……having children is no insurance policy and guarantee that you will not be left alone as you get older.

The other lady was terrified of living alone after her divorce. She was so dependent on her spouse for everything. The divorce was not a mutual consent. He left her for a younger woman. Hmmmmmmm Some women prefer to stay in a marriage even though it is emotionally draining them but they are more afraid of what’s on the other side and the financial situation, yatta, yatta. She too, also expressed that she thought her children and grandchildren should spend more time with her but they have their own lives.

Sigh! Thinking to myself, I’ve been on both sides of the track and I could relate to both their fears and concerns but ladies.......get a life!

Then they turned to the topic of aging and losing that youthful look. One was trying to convince the other to do the Botox thing. They then included me in the conversation and asked if I were interested in joining them for a Botox party. I declined not because I don’t want to get rid of some wrinkles and would love to look a bit younger but I refuse to put toxins such a poison in my body through a needle! Plus, it is so costly and you have to keep it up every three months to maintain that look even if you keep it light without heavy doses of that toxic liquid….I don’t like that “Plastic” look. Just stroll down any avenue in Boca and you will see that look! Not pretty! Men don’t like it either so listen up ladies!

I have, however, seen some good facelifts on some friends that weren’t pulled too tight and they did not go overboard trying to look like “Barbie”.

If it is your choice to go under the knife and try to regain your youth……go right ahead and if you choose to let your wrinkles show the character in your face…….by all means leave them there.

Bottom line, we all have choices……. some choices are not voluntary ones…….. some are! Becoming a Widow is not by choice……….being left for another woman is also not by your choice……….Choosing to do something with your life to make yourself happy is your “Choice”.